On Point (Out of Uniform 3)

“Go away,” Maddox called in a muffled voice. “Sleeping.”

“Liar. The kid’s gone. You can come out.”

“Still sleeping.”

“Come on, Mad. You’ve got to talk to me sometime. How about I grab us a pair of cold ones, and you unlock that door.”

Footsteps sounded from inside the room. “Don’t you think alcohol would make this worse?” Maddox asked as he opened the door.

“Nope.” Ben led the way to the kitchen because he didn’t really want to have this conversation through a cracked door, and going into Maddox’s room—with its king-size bed taking up most the square footage—seemed as hazardous as a land mine field and him with no sweeper dog. “Only sensible thing really. Have a beer. Talk this over like men.”

He handed Maddox a can of MTB Fortunate Island before grabbing one for himself. He figured one of Maddox’s favorite local microbrews couldn’t hurt.

“Nothing to say.” Maddox grabbed a glass from the freezer and poured his beer. Ben was plenty happy with the can, but Maddox always liked his things just so, and so Ben didn’t refuse when Maddox passed him another chilled mug. “I shouldn’t have spied. I’m sorry. It was unforgivable—”

“It was hot as fuck, and you know it. I wanted it. Canaan wanted it. You wanted it. Nothing unforgivable about a consensual threesome.”

Maddox’s eyes went wide. “That wasn’t a threesome.”

“Well not really,” Ben allowed. “Generally all the participants are a bit more...active.”

“You’d know,” Maddox grumbled into his beer. He’d never seemed particularly judgmental of Ben’s sexual history in the past, other than to remark that he couldn’t do the sort of open relationship Trey had advocated.

“You want to find out?” Ben countered. “I’d be game for showing you. Canaan or someone else—whatever you want. And you could watch until joining in felt right. You’ve got a kink for watching, yeah?”

“I do not have a kink.” Maddox took a long pull of his beer, leaning against the counter, but muscles still tense. He’d switched pajama bottoms and added a T-shirt. “And no way. No way are we becoming...fuck buddies.”

“Why not?” Ben shrugged, keeping his voice casual. True, after Trey, he didn’t usually do repeats, but he’d make an exception or two for Maddox, get this weird obsession out of his system so that they could go back to being best friends. And if he could show Maddox something new, so much the better.

“Because I value our friendship. And I don’t do fuck buddies. You know that.”

“You could lighten up that rule. How long’s it been since you got laid? A year?”

“I don’t keep track.” Maddox’s mouth was a thin line. He didn’t hook up. He dated—deliberately and with great forethought—and he’d had boyfriends, a select crew Ben could count on one hand, but he didn’t hook up.

Which Ben could respect. Didn’t mean that he understood but he respected. Except when he was busy trampling those boundaries. Fuck. He really was a heel.

“I’m sorry,” Ben said what he should have said right away. “I pushed you into something you didn’t want—”

“Didn’t say that,” Maddox mumbled. “I’m an adult. I stayed. And I’m not denying that I liked it.”

“You did?” Ben let himself smile. “It was hot, wasn’t it? Watching isn’t my usual thing, but putting on a show...something hella hot about that. Gets me so hard.”

Maddox rubbed at his temples. “We are not talking about what makes you hard. Yes, it was hot. Yes, I got off on it. No, I’m not interested in a repeat.”

“Not even as a one-time thing?” Ben pressed.

“Especially not as a one-time thing.” Maddox took another long sip, then poured the rest of the beer down the sink before rinsing the mug and returning it to the freezer.

Offer him more than one time. The words rose up in Ben’s throat but he swallowed them back. He wasn’t capable of giving Maddox what he really wanted, and Maddox was right. It would kill their friendship if he tried to be something he wasn’t.

And the friendship was the important thing here, the thing worth sacrificing for. The thing he needed to fight for, not a repeat three-way.

Present

Drip. Drip. Drip. Rain filtered into their hiding spot. Angry creatures called to each other, seeming to echo the reproach in Ben’s head. If only he’d been able to keep that resolution, keep his stupid self from pushing. Because that night hadn’t been the worst of it.

“Mad—”

“Sssh.” Maddox’s hand clamped over Ben’s mouth. Sure enough the sounds of men were closer now, and Ben had almost spoken. What kind of idiot newbie are you?

They lay like that for long minutes, barely breathing, Maddox’s hand against his jaw. Ben consciously slowed his heart rate, relaxed into Maddox’s grip. He knew Maddox had to be hurting, but he was even stiller than Ben, no pained breaths. So fucking strong. Pride and admiration mingled with concern—they had to get out of this, had to get Maddox to safety.