“Wiz. Level with me.” Ben accepted a swig of the ice water, then gave his friend a hard stare. “What’s going on? I don’t need surgery. Just my ribs wrapped and—”
“Dude.” Wizard’s stare was equally intense. “You tore your shoulder all up and you cracked six ribs, including the one that caused a pneumothorax—you’re just now breathing on your own. It was touch and go. And you’re battling an infection, but nothing like what Horvat’s going through, thank God.”
“Maddox.” Ben swallowed hard. That should have been his first thought—where Maddox was, if he was okay. Spoke to how fuzzy his damn brain was that he hadn’t been demanding answers sooner. “He made it?”
Wizard sighed and pulled a chair over to Ben’s bed. “I’m not going to lie to you, man. He’s rough. He’s in surgery again now. They’re fighting an infection in his leg. Trying to save it—save him. But you saved his life out there in the field, no doubt about that.”
The praise felt so hollow Ben was surprised the words didn’t echo. “He can’t die,” Ben whispered. “I need to see him.”
“He’ll be on the same med evac flight with you, but don’t try to talk, okay? He’s heavily sedated right now. They need to get him some second opinions back at NMCSD, and if they have to amputate...”
“They won’t.” Ben almost punched the mattress before he remembered what Wizard had said about not moving his arms.
“Here’s to hoping. And praying.” Wizard sighed, running his hands through his wild hair. Guy looked like he hadn’t slept in a month. “I had the LT call his folks, and I called the sister—”
“Damn,” Ben whispered. This was fucking dire. Like call-the-family dire. And Wizard didn’t do worry—always calm, even when dealing with massive trauma on missions, but he sure as hell sounded concerned. “Are they coming?”
“Don’t know.” Wizard shrugged. “Idiots.”
“Damn straight.” Ben was tempted yet again to go to Maddox’s rural town and knock some heads together. Maddox had never really recovered from his family’s rejection, and it didn’t matter that he had the team, their friends, and his church—nothing was going to make up for that loss of the huge, close-knit family he’d grown up with. And all because Maddox had been found kissing a boy in the family barn when he was seventeen. A boy who later decided waiting was “too hard.” Fuck all the fuckers and especially fuck romance and “true love.” What a crock.
“Want me to have your family meet you at the med center or you want to call them yourself once they’ve got you situated?”
“I better handle the freak-out myself, thanks.” The weird thing was that it was Maddox’s family that was all gung-ho, pro-military with lots of cousins and uncles who’d served. Ben’s family came from a long line of liberal doctors and had never understood why he’d go and join the service instead of going to a good college. And his dad was sure to hover and demand to see his charts, but at least he’d be there. Ben’s sore chest clenched again for Maddox.
His eyelids felt heavy. Strange how just talking could be so exhausting. There was so much he wanted to say to Wizard, so much he wanted to know about Maddox’s condition, but he couldn’t get the words out.
“We’re ready.” All of a sudden, the room was filled with uniformed medics, Wizard calling a fast goodbye and good luck as he was ushered from the room. Ben was covered with thick blankets and the medical personnel messed with his monitors and wires before wheeling him down a long hallway. Just the motion of the stretcher made him ache all over again. He didn’t even know where he was. Australia? The Philippines? He wasn’t sure it mattered. Just that he was going home.
Home. That was such a dicey ass concept. Where was home anyway? It sure wasn’t in his father and Camilla’s shiny new house up on a hill in Oceanside—he’d never felt more than a visitor there. And it wasn’t the house he’d grown up in, the one his mother had left to go find herself in a commune all those years ago, the one his sister lived in now with a passel of kids Ben still wasn’t sure how to relate to.
He’d had a home briefly with Trey. Nice little apartment in Hillcrest with a back patio for the dogs. God, he missed Kermit and Chulu so much, missed how happy they’d been to see him come in after a long day, missed taking them to the dog park or on hikes. Fucking Trey. No more home. No more dogs. No more dreaming of things he shouldn’t have anyway.
His living with Maddox was supposed to be temporary, not a home, more of a way-stop to figuring out what came next out of the wreckage of his life. But it had been two years now and he was still in Maddox’s spare bedroom. Maddox. Maddox makes it a home.