Maddox didn’t need much encouragement, hips thrusting toward Ben’s waiting mouth. Sucking hard, Ben pulled him in. Guys often struggled with Maddox’s girth—complaining about sore jaws and tricky gag reflexes—but Ben went deep effortlessly. No way could Maddox survive that, and another few thrusts and he was coming with a shout, unable to hold back.
Forget rifle kick. This was more like ten seconds of a bull ride, being tossed about while adrenaline raced, joy and terror in equal measure. Joy that he got to share this with Ben. Terror that something this good couldn’t possibly last.
“Oh man.” Ben scooted back up the bed to lie next to Maddox. “That was seriously hot.”
“Yeah, it was.” Maddox was sure his smile was all kinds of dopey.
“If I kiss you, you going to freak at the taste of spunk?” Ben laughed, mouth hovering over Maddox’s.
“Nope,” Maddox pulled him down for a leisurely kiss. He didn’t have the words to explain to Ben that this was what he craved, this easy closeness after sex, the way their bodies seemed to fit together effortlessly, the way Ben looked at him like he’d been given the best present, the huskiness in Ben’s voice. He craved all that, and he let himself revel in it for long moments.
“I’m not sure what we do for an encore tomorrow, but I can’t wait to find out.” Ben fell back with another laugh.
“Tomorrow I want... Oh heck. Tomorrow’s Sunday right?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve got church—choir’s performing and I’m doing a number. Can’t really skip it, but you sleep in and I’ll think of a good brunch and wake-up for you for when I get back.”
“Why do I think you’re more excited about the brunch than the wake-up?” Ben’s chuckle had a lot of affection in it. “Singing huh? You need a ride? Need help getting your guitar out?”
“One of my choir friends is going to pick me up, but...if you wanted to...”
“You want me to come?” Ben didn’t sound as offput as Maddox had expected, more thoughtful than repulsed. “I could I guess.”
“You don’t have to. It’s not your thing.”
“How many times do I have to tell you? You’re my thing now. And this is important to you. Sure, I’ll come watch you sing.”
Ben’s words warmed Maddox’s cooling skin even as they made his insides wobble. Ben was trying too hard to be the perfect boyfriend, and at some point, probably soon, he was going to get tired of that game. But in the meantime, Maddox’s Sunday just got a heck of a lot more interesting. And complicated. Mainly that last one. God, it sucked to want something so much and yet know it couldn’t possibly last the way he wanted it to.
Chapter Seventeen
Ben was totally winning at this boyfriend business. Early on a Sunday morning and he was in a button-down shirt and khakis and not dreaming up new ways to fuck Maddox awake. Okay, maybe he was doing that last one a little bit. In his defense, it was a boring drive to Maddox’s church and Maddox was quiet, giving Ben’s mind plenty of time to wander. But he hadn’t acted on those impulses, instead making sure they were out the door on time, carrying the guitar and the cookies Maddox had made last night to contribute to the coffee hour. Ben didn’t even swipe a cookie on the way to the car. Go me.
Maddox’s church was in Hillcrest, not terribly far from Ben’s favorite bars, and like so many of the establishments in the area, a rainbow flag was prominent on their sign with a smaller rainbow decal on the door he held open for Maddox.
“It’s my favorite baritone! Here, let me take the guitar!” A small woman with blue and pink striped hair, who seemed to speak with exclamation points after each word, grabbed the guitar from Ben before he could realize what was happening. Man, he really was losing his edge—he’d be dead in the field, letting someone sneak up and disarm him.
“I’m Vanessa. I’m singing the special music with Maddox during the offertory. And you are...”
“Ben.” He looked to Maddox, not sure if he should clarify their relationship or not. But Maddox was too busy balancing on his crutches, trying to give the woman an awkward hug.
“Well, welcome, Ben. Do you want to sit with my partner, Carol?” She was already leading the way into the sanctuary before Ben could reply. No, he was not in the mood for meeting new people and being assigned a seat somewhere other than the back pew he’d been planning on, but there he was in the middle of the sanctuary, shaking hands and trying to make nice.
“I have to go with the choir now.” Maddox looked as uncomfortable as Ben felt. Maybe this had been a bad idea. Maddox’s eyes landed on Ben’s mouth. Heck. He was supposed to wish Maddox luck, right? Should he hug him like Carol and Vanessa were doing? Give a manly handshake or a bro backslap? When did all this become so complicated?