“This is what you like, isn’t it?” Ben held him tight, big body surrounding Maddox, strength meeting strength. “Slow and soft?”
“Love being close to you,” Maddox admitted, soul stripped bare by this unexpected side of Ben. “Don’t even need to come. Just kissing and rubbing like this is...special.”
“Yeah, it is.” Ben didn’t laugh at his sappiness. Instead, his eyes were dark and intense in the early morning light. “Wanted this so long.”
“Me too.” Maddox sighed, Ben’s kisses more potent than any truth serum.
“Why’d we wait so long?” Ben chuckled, but his eyes were serious.
“Because we’re idiots,” Maddox answered honestly.
“The worst.” Then they were kissing and laughing, laughing and kissing, and it was glorious. Ben’s thrusts against Maddox’s stomach picked up in intensity, and Maddox groaned.
“Might have spoken too soon about not needing to come.” He surged to meet Ben’s body, leg be damned.
“Good. Want to get you off,” Ben growled. Dipping his head, he nipped at Maddox’s collarbone. “Want to give you everything you need.”
You do. You are. Hopelessly romantic words died in Maddox’s throat. This moment was already perfect enough. I’ve loved you for years. And he had. Maybe all this was new, but not his feelings. Those were solid, unchanged. He was in love with his best friend, and that was simply a fact.
And maybe Ben would never love him the same way. Maybe Ben couldn’t. But they could have this, have these little moments of perfection, and maybe that was enough. Please don’t let us lose this.
Breathing hard, Ben moaned. Maddox hadn’t been lying—he didn’t need to come himself if he could just be lucky enough to watch Ben lose himself to pleasure. But then, Ben shifted, getting a hand between their bodies to stroke their cocks together, and need welled up in him again, him surprisingly close to the edge.
“Come with me,” Ben whispered, perfectionist as always. The tension in his back muscles under Maddox’s hands said that he was holding back, waiting. Always waiting.
And in that instant, Maddox let himself do something he hadn’t done all week and trusted. Trusted that maybe this could work. That maybe they could be weird and wonderful and perfect together. Trusted that this was more than convenient orgasms or a challenge for Ben. Trust, it turned out, was a powerful drug, one that intensified his pleasure, made him moan and drag Ben back down for another kiss.
“Faster.” He shuddered against Ben, body vibrating with need. “I’m so close.”
“That’s it. God, Mad. I—” Whatever Ben had been about to say was lost in a series of groans as he came, seeming to surprise even himself, and that look of blissful shock on his face was enough to push Maddox into his own orgasm.
When he sang, sometimes he reached this nirvana state, where he felt intimately connected to the divine, more than himself, everything seeming to be a miracle, even the sound of his own voice. And that was how this felt—like they were something greater than the two of them. In that moment everything was holy. Sacred. And all he wanted was to live forever in that instant, trust that they could find their way back here again. Even if that was a mirage, he was going to cling to it as long as he could.
Chapter Eighteen
Maddox flipped through the cooking magazine, looking for a dinner idea Ben might like that wasn’t the same old same old. He hated the recumbent bike at physical therapy, but the stack of magazines made it more tolerable. Harold, his therapist, shared Maddox’s love of cooking and made sure his area was well-stocked with recent offerings. But even with that, this was still getting old—he was eager to move on to the next phase in treatment, to get to put more weight on his leg, maybe graduate to a cane and walking boot.
That’d probably be enough to get him back on light duty, and he could join Ben in filing and inventory hell. Not that he was exactly eager for that, but Ben would undoubtedly be less of a cranky lion if he had company.
“Well, look at this. Thought I might find you here. Working hard?” The familiar voice of his LT made Maddox’s head swivel. The LT quickly crossed the room with long, efficient strides to come stand beside the bike. He was in uniform, toting a binder full of papers, which told Maddox that this wasn’t strictly a social call. Maddox’s back muscles tightened.
“Yes, sir.” Maddox had heard the team was back on base, but he hadn’t seen anyone from leadership yet. “Rehab’s coming along.”
“I saw Tovey earlier. He’s chomping at the bit to get back to training—man, if ever there were men less cut out for light duty, it would be you two.” The LT’s laugh was every bit as gravelly as his voice.