On Point (Out of Uniform 3)

“You’re really telling me you weren’t interested in another threesome?” Maddox didn’t sound any more trusting than Ben had expected, but the words still sliced him like a dull razor. “Never going to go there again?”

“You telling me you don’t think I can do monogamy?” Ben countered, bending so he could lick Maddox’s nipple, keep the big guy off balance. “Do you seriously think I’d rather be with him than you tonight?”

“No.” Maddox’s hands roamed over Ben’s hair and neck like they couldn’t decide whether to pull him closer or push him away. “But I don’t want to be the guy limiting you, making you hold on to something you don’t really want. Maybe it’s not in your nature—”

“You’re in my nature.” Mindful of Maddox’s leg, Ben shoved him in the direction of the nearest bed. That there were two queen beds in the room was proof they’d done an okay enough job convincing the family they weren’t a couple, and somehow that enraged him further. Damn it, why couldn’t this couple business be real? “Have we just been playing house back at the apartment? A secret game? I thought we were dating. Giving this a real shot.”

“We are.” Maddox’s expression softened and he lowered himself to the edge of the bed. “And I’m not trying to shame you or something like that. It’s more that I know you—”

“No you don’t.” Ben pushed him back against the pillows before pulling off the rest of his clothes with jerky movements. “You know your assumptions. You think just because Trey and I had an open relationship that that’s what I’d always want. I’m always going to be untrustworthy to you because of that. And that’s bunk.”

“It is.” Maddox reached for him, but Ben wasn’t having that quite yet. He stalked to his bag, which he’d tossed on the other bed, and pulled out two items he’d stuck there this morning with a sort of sunny optimism as to how the day might go. Now that Maddox’s leg was in the lighter cast, fucking was more of a possibility, but it wasn’t something either of them had been in a rush to explore. For once in his life, he’d been having a ball taking things slow, and why couldn’t Maddox see that?

Maddox’s eyes went wide as Ben tossed the condoms and lube next to him, but he didn’t remark on them, seeming more intent on talking Ben down. “You’re right. I am being judgmental. And hypocritical because that night with Canaan was hella sexy, and I was on board for that. Just wasn’t up for it tonight—”

“And that’s okay. And it’s always going to be okay.” Ben locked eyes with Maddox, begging him to understand. “If you ever want to go there again, then we will. And if you don’t, we won’t. It’s that simple for me.”

Maddox bit his lip, teeth worrying the pink flesh. “Dating isn’t starting to chafe at you—”

“Stop it.” Ben leaned down and kissed him firmly before straddling his hips. “Is that what this really is? You think our experiment is about to be over? Is that what you want?” His heart skittered, skipping several beats only to pound double-time.

“No.” Maddox shook his head. “You know it’s not. You’re all I want. I just feel like it’s all about to evaporate—”

“Well, don’t.” Ben kissed him again, softer now. “I’m not going anywhere, and I need you to trust me on that.” Trust me. Please trust me. Believe in me. His chest squeezed, almost painful with the need to have Maddox’s belief.

“Okay.” Maddox’s hazel eyes were intent, amber depths unreadable as he pulled Ben closer. The smooth fabric of his suit pants dragged against Ben’s bare legs, raising goose bumps. “I’m sorry. I want to trust you. I do.”

Which wasn’t the same as actually doing the trusting, but Ben wasn’t going to quibble, not when Maddox sounded so serious and sad. This wasn’t goodbye. Ben wasn’t going to even entertain that idea. They might have a supply truck full of issues to unpack still, but Ben wasn’t giving up on this. “Then do it. Do this thing with me. For real.”

For keeps. That wish he kept tight inside his chest, not ready to trust it with breath yet. Maddox’s lips were searching as he met Ben for another kiss. As much as Ben loved taking control, God, did he ever love it when Maddox initiated contact. It made him feel less alone somehow. More sure of his place in the world, less out-of-control.

“You drive me crazy.” Ben rocked back against Maddox’s groin, loving the feel of his cloth-covered erection against his ass. “And you’re in too many clothes still.”

“You’re still angry. And more than a little drunk. You sure you want—”

“Quit telling me what I want.” Ben kissed him soundly before scooting back to pull off Maddox’s pants, being careful around the cast, despite his roiling emotions. “Right now what I want is to ride you senseless until we both forget this stupid argument, the wedding, everything except how much we need this.”