On Point (Out of Uniform 3)

“You’re the one for me.” Ben put the full force of his conviction into the words. “Always going to be.”

He plucked the soap out of Maddox’s hand because Maddox wasn’t the only one who needed to touch and explore. He soaped all the muscles he’d missed for so long, reacquainting himself with Maddox’s strength, with all the tender places he let Ben have access to. Maddox gave so much of himself to Ben, and for the first time, he really saw that for the gift it was. Maddox didn’t just give him the courage to be strong—he gave him the space to be vulnerable.

He wasn’t sure who moved first, just that their mouths found each other, and it was like the first time all over again. Sweet and hot, tender and demanding, seeking and receiving. “I only want to be with you,” he whispered in Maddox’s ear right before he sucked the delicate flesh into his mouth.

“Need you,” Maddox groaned, and their kisses turned more urgent, demanding. It transformed from a gentle reunion of lips and spirits into a flat-out attack from a seasoned operator who’d decided that upending Ben’s world was his next mission. Claiming his mouth, Ben yanked him closer, searing his every nerve ending.

Ben skated his fingers down Maddox’s back, seeking his meaty ass. “Yes. That. Touch me there.”

Ben loved this more vocal Maddox, and he rewarded him with deliberate touches along his crack. “This? You want this?”

“Please.” Maddox sought his mouth again. Kiss almost frantic, he groaned when Ben’s soap-slick fingers found his rim. “Want you to fuck me.”

Ben groaned, low and lusty in the back of his throat. “I want that too, but...I need you to know, this isn’t just sex to me. I know you think I’m all about getting laid, but that’s not what this is to me.”

And it was true that Ben had been all about getting laid for years, burying his deeper emotions in sex and partying, but he was finally ready—no, wanting—something different. Make no mistake, he was always going to love fucking, and he couldn’t wait to fuck Maddox for the first time, but there was also an even stronger pull to reconnect with him, establish the trust that they should have had back when they started this thing. And if that meant waiting, then Ben would wait. Take it slow.

“I don’t want slow.” Maddox read Ben’s mind. “Want you. Right now. Right here.”

Ben laughed. “Maybe not right here—someone’s going to get hurt if we attempt shower fucking on your healing leg. But race you to the bedroom?”

“You’re on.”

* * *

Race turned out to be a bit overly optimistic as they finished up washing off, and Maddox still had to rely on the cane rather than his old speed for getting to the bedroom. God, how he’d missed Ben in here, missed how this had transformed into their room during those magical weeks when it had seemed like everything might work out. He wanted back to that place. Not the waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop terror, but the magic. The shared space. The closeness of this, their bodies reconnecting.

He’d never really been one to miss sex before, but he’d missed Ben’s kisses, missed his touches, the way he looked at Maddox, missed how it felt like they shared a soul when it was good, so good between them.

Standing next to the bed, Ben touched him almost reverently as he toweled Maddox off. And for once, it was Maddox who was the impatient one. Batting the towel away, he tumbled them onto the bed. “Want you. Don’t want to wait.”

“I would though. I’d wait for you.” Ben’s eyes were serious as he held Maddox’s gaze. “I want to get this right this time—”

“There’s not a test.” Maddox laughed, pulling Ben in for a kiss. “We can figure this out together. It may not be easy, but it can’t be worse than missing you.”

“Word. I missed you. So much.” Ben dropped kisses along Maddox’s jaw, ruffling his beard.

“Sorry. I should shave—”

“Don’t. The mountain man rebel look suits you. And you don’t have to worry about regulations anymore.” Ben’s voice wasn’t as sad as Maddox had expected.

“Are you going to forgive me for that?” Maddox met his eyes, trying to search out the real answer. “For leaving the teams?”

Ben nodded. “I wasn’t being reasonable, trying to hold you back from your dreams. Not gonna lie and say I’m happy about it, but I’m working on that. I really am. And I’m proud of you.”

“You are?”

“You stood up for your dreams. You’re going for it. That takes balls, and I know it wasn’t easy what with me being a dipshit and all about it. Seeing you tonight, at your new place, I was proud of you. You belong there.” Ben’s voice was gruff and a muscle in his jaw quivered.