Squared Away (Out of Uniform 5)

“Hope so. I wasn’t expecting to get this billet, so I’m still figuring shit out,” Mark admitted.

“Yeah, you were a last-minute addition. Heard about your loss. That’s shitty luck. Condolences from my whole family, man.”

“Thanks.” Mark had been getting this a lot since being back on duty. Everyone had heard about Danielle and Cal, and most people didn’t seem to know exactly what to say, but everyone wanted to check in with him, see how he was holding up. And Mark never knew exactly what to reply. Sure, he was still sad. And overwhelmed. But he had Isaiah and he was coping. Day by day, one foot in front of the other, he was getting through it. But then he’d feel a bit guilty about that, like maybe he shouldn’t be doing this well.

Grief, man. It was some fucked-up shit. But Johnson didn’t need to hear all that.

“Hear you got the kids. That’s got to be hard, you being a single guy and all.” Johnson shook his head. “Don’t know what I’d do without the wife.”

Don’t know what I’d do without Isaiah. The thought crept in unbidden, but it was true. Isaiah was his rock, the thing he looked forward to at the end of long slog like today.

“Speaking of her,” Johnson continued, undeterred by Mark’s lack of response. “She’s got a sister. Nicest woman on earth. Loves kids. We should do a beer sometime, when you’re ready, let you meet her.”

Mark wasn’t ever going to be ready for a blind date. He’d been on them before and they all sucked. Besides you have Isaiah. But no one on base knew that, and this wasn’t the first offer he’d received—everyone seemed eager to find him some help. The navy was big on guys settling down, promoting family life, and that culture bled over into the personnel, everyone wanting to see him partnered up.

He wished he knew what to say. I’ve got someone. I think. His name’s Isaiah and he’s awesome. How hard would that be? Or maybe even, I’m demisexual. I don’t do casual dating. But the words didn’t come. “I don’t think I’m ready for that,” he said instead.

Fucking coward, he cursed at himself.

“You’ll get there,” Johnson said encouragingly as he got dressed. “How are the kids though? Hanging in there?”

“Kids are amazingly resilient.” Mark was relieved to be off the topic of his personal life.

“They excited for spring? Easter bunny and all that? My crew can’t wait.” Johnson laughed.

“Oh, that’s coming up.” Mark really hadn’t gotten that far in his planning for the month, but he supposed they should think about baskets or something.

“Yeah. There’s a huge egg hunt over at the Coronado Community Center Saturday. I’m on duty but the schedule says you’re off. You should go. Take the kids.”

“Maybe.” The kids would have fun with that. Isaiah too. They hadn’t really gotten out of the house much, and a social guy like Isaiah really needed more people contact than just Mark and some movies.

Which is why you can’t get attached. He’ll move on. Isaiah wasn’t going to be happy playing house with Mark indefinitely. But man, how Mark wanted that. Wanted Isaiah to stick around, stay in Mark’s life. Maybe it wasn’t fair to Isaiah, but Mark loved knowing he was back at the house, waiting for him to come home. There would be food, and if the kids were already asleep, some kissing and cuddling on the couch, and damn but Mark needed that after this long day, needed to reconnect with his guy.

Not your guy if you can’t tell anyone about him. Fuck. Mark was going to have to figure himself out, and fast.

Chapter Fifteen

Mark was late. Isaiah had expected that given that it was the first day of BUD/S for the new recruits. Still, he was a bit down as he got the kids to bed. Mark was better at the stories than him, and he missed having Mark to talk to after they were asleep. He was an adult though, so he changed into pajama bottoms and a T-shirt, grabbed his tablet and stretched out on the bed, working on his sketches for Lydia’s extensive landscaping project.

Reviewing pics of the property, he was just debating where to put some cacti when there was a knock on his door. “You up?”

Mark. Isaiah couldn’t help the grin that came out. “Yup. Come in.”

“Sorry it’s so late. Found the food in the fridge.” Mark had a sheepish look on his face. He’d lost his uniform overshirt, down to just a T-shirt and camo pants with bare feet. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Isaiah scooted over and patted the bed next to him. Almost all of their making out had occurred in the family room or Mark’s room. This was the first time he’d had Mark in here, and it felt both strange and nice at the same time. “Come talk? You’re going to make me strain my neck again looking up at you, Giraffe.”