Adam speared his next bite rather violently. “Something tells me that by the end of this story, I’m not going to think he’s that great.”
“No, he is. Brilliant scientist. He was a doctoral student in microbiology. We fell hard and fast for each other. A few months after we started dating, Luke found out that a fellow student he’d seen for a short time prior to meeting me was pregnant. Neither of them wanted to resume their relationship, but he wanted to be involved in the baby’s life.”
“Stepping up as a dad is the least he could do. Trust me. Like I said, I know deadbeats.”
“Well, Luke didn’t want to be a deadbeat, or absent either. So, I helped where I could. I was working long hours, but I rearranged my schedule, worked more nights so I could help during the day. With both Luke and his ex nearing dissertation defense, it took all three of us juggling to make sure someone could watch the baby. I spent more time with the baby than Luke a lot of weeks.”
“I remember when Teddy was little.” Adam’s face softened, a fondness there that made me ache all over again. “My sister and I were like shift workers clocking in and out at a manufacturing plant. We’d do a fast hand-off but never had enough time to actually stop and have a conversation.”
“Exactly. Our relationship went from idyllic to strained, but that’s what happens with new parents. Kids come first. Relationship second. I figured we’d get back on track eventually. The three of us got along so well, I never thought…”
“That they would get back together?”
“Damn. You are a good guesser, I’ll give you that.” I whistled low, then forced myself to get the rest of the story out in a hurry. “Yes, eventually, they fell in love. She got a prestigious fellowship in Barcelona, where she’s from originally. He found a nearby post-doc and decided to join her.”
“Wow. No more kid time for you, I take it. Fuck. That’s ice cold.” Adam’s voice had gone from tender to angry.
I appreciated his empathy, but the feelings it stirred were painful, underscoring every mistake I’d made along the way. This was why I almost never talked about the situation. I hated making Luke and Julia out to be the villains, hated my own naivety even more, and truly hated how damn much I still cared, even now, almost two years later.
“Yes. No more kid time. They were just gone. I asked about visiting, but they put me off. They wanted to focus on their partnership. Didn’t want to confuse Paloma.”
Adam frowned. “Babies don’t get confused. They generally like new people to play with. You could have been a friend of the family or something.”
“I know. I offered. They weren’t interested. And now, yesterday, I saw the wedding pictures. And Paloma’s so big now. A real kid, not a baby. She’s changed so much…”
“Sounds like you miss her more than that scum of an ex. Understandably.”
“Luke’s not a bad person. I don’t think he meant to fall in love with Julia. It just happened. And now Paloma gets to grow up with two parents who adore her, grandparents and cousins nearby, gorgeous setting. It’s probably the best thing for her.” I’d said it enough times that I halfway believed it, but Adam shook his head like he wasn’t buying it.
“And the worst thing for you.” Reaching across the table, he put a hand over mine. All the air left my lungs in a big whoosh. This much understanding plus a wicked hangover was more than my paltry emotional reserves could handle. How many times had I secretly wished for a champion like this? Someone who got it, who stood up for me even when I tried to dismiss my pain.
“Pretty much,” I whispered, not pulling my hand away, letting the moment stretch out so I could savor the few additional seconds of contact until he returned to his food.
“And I’m not sure having selfish parents is best for anyone.” He stabbed at his food again. “Anyway, sucks for you, man. I get why you drank last night.”
“Nothing else left to do.”
“Yup. Love will do that to you.” He gestured with his fork. “That’s why I avoid it. No exes to pine over.”
“I’m not pining.” My head ached anew from the tension in my jaw.
“I didn’t say you were,” Adam said mildly and pointed at my glass. “Drink more water.”
I wanted to comply. So badly. Every time he made a suggestion, I wanted to please him, and that was a problem. Bad enough I’d bared my soul. I didn’t need to add to my humiliation with an ill-advised crush.
“I should probably get going.” I pushed my half-eaten breakfast away. Adam pushed it right back.
“Hang tight. I’ll run you home. I’ve got to be at the tavern before lunch anyway. And we’re not done talking.”