Tight Quarters (Out of Uniform 6)

“I should protect your feet then, take you away.”

“Yes, yes, you should.” Spencer smiled at him right as a very overdone slow jam came on.

“Okay. This one isn’t horrible.” Del plucked Spencer’s cup from his grasp and set both their drinks on a nearby table.

“Even the movie this was from is overwrought,” Spencer protested as Del led him on the dancefloor. “I should know. I had to review it.”

“Careful now. Your inner snob is showing,” Del teased. “We owned this one, and Mom and I would sing along to all our favorite songs. It’s a great love story.”

“So are we.” Spencer smiled at him, but his stomach trembled, hoping Del felt the same way—he’d been a little distant since their car conversation, as they felt their way back to a good place.

“Yup. I especially like this part where you’re letting me lead.” Del grinned at him.

“Don’t get used to it.”

“Oh I’m not, trust me.” Del raised his eyebrows, his meaning clear in a way that made Spencer’s skin prickle with anticipation. “I want a whole chapter in our story on your bossy ways.”

“That can be arranged.”

“Good.” Del tugged him closer. “I like dancing with you, though.”

“For someone who’s always going on about how tone-deaf you are, you’ve got great rhythm.”

“You’re still trying to butter me up so that I’ll show you some of my bad poetry.”

“Guilty.” Spencer laughed. Del had confessed to writing song lyrics and poems but hadn’t yet shared any.

“Okay, we’re done here.” Del joined his laughter as the song changed to an up-tempo Marvin Gaye number. Spencer happily followed him back to their drinks. “I need to make my goodbyes. Can I meet you at the hotel?”

“That sounds great.” Spencer tried not to sound too eager and failed miserably. Del leaned in for a fast kiss, which was notable not only for how it revved Spencer’s pulse, but it was their first public kiss, another good sign that they were really back together, that Del wanted this as much as he did.

That hope powered Spencer all the way to the nearby hotel he’d booked, and it wasn’t long after he’d checked in that Del knocked at the door. He’d evidently left his uniform jacket and tie in the truck, and even in his white dress shirt and navy pants, he looked stunning.

“You’re here.” He drew him into a tight embrace as the door closed.

“I missed you,” Del said with an intensity that said he wasn’t only talking about the drive.

In response, Spencer buried his face against Del’s neck. It felt weird and vulnerable, like he was opening up some hidden compartment of emotions, letting Del see how very much he needed him. But this was all he could do, inhale Del’s familiar scent, let it swarm his senses for long moments.

Something seemed to break in Del as well, something he’d been keeping in during the past week, as he released big shuddery breaths. “I missed you, Spence, so fucking much.”

“I know. Me too.”

“You hurt me.” His words were ragged, and he sounded on the verge of tears, which instantly got Spencer there too.

“I’m sorry. So sorry.” He kissed Del’s damp cheek. “I wish I could promise never to hurt you again, but I can’t. But never again like this. I promise.”

“You pushed me away.” Del gave another uneven sigh that broke Spencer’s heart. He hadn’t realized the full extent of how rejected Del would feel. And he should have.

Repeating his apology wouldn’t cut it, so he went straight for the truth, releasing a shaky breath of his own. “I was scared. Scared to believe in us that much, that quickly, scared to put us first. But that’s not going to happen again, promise. I realize now that life’s too short to not love fully. My priorities were all screwed up—love should always come first. And I do love you.”

“I know.” Del’s eyes were bright.

“And I don’t want to hurt you like that again, ever. But I’m new at this unconditional-love business and I might screw it up. I’m going to try my best, though. And try my best to make it up to you.”

“I was scared too,” Del whispered.

“And I let you down.” He kissed Del’s cheek again, wishing he had the right words to take his pain away. He, Spencer Bryant, was entirely out of words. He grabbed Del’s hand, bringing it to his mouth, kissing their intertwined fingers. Opening his grip, he kissed Del’s wrist, his palm, each of his precious fingers.

“That feels nice,” Del whispered.

“Yeah?” Spencer raised his head, met his mouth in a needy kiss that tried to convey both his love and his sorrow. What if he never fully convinced Del how loved he was? The thought made the already chilly room seem thirty degrees cooler, made his kiss that much more desperate. “Let me love you.”