Any Closer

I thought I knew all about kissing. Turned out, though, at thirty-five, I finally got around to being on the receiving end of the kind of kiss you feel through your whole body. It was scorching. He tasted as good as I knew he would, and when I slanted my mouth down over his, he sighed his deep pleasure.

My hands moved, one up into his hair, holding him still, the other to the small of his back. I didn’t manhandle him or push; I was careful, not wanting to scare him. But the kiss got out of control anyway. Our tongues tangled, lips sucking, teeth clicking, and when I felt his hands on my chest, pushing, I broke the kiss so we could both breathe.

We were panting hard, foreheads leaning together, the air between us hot and thick.

“Explain,” I got out.

He nodded.

“Charlie, how—”

“Shut up,” he ordered, clutching at me when I tried to lean back. Apparently, he liked us this close. “I was really messed up when I got here three years ago, but then I found you.”

“Char—”

“Come here,” he said, his breath shaky as he eased back and led me to the bed. “Lie down with me.”

It was cold, so we got under my soft sheets and down comforter. Without thinking, I reached for him, and the look of absolute joy that filled his eyes, his smile, made my chest tighten. He snuggled up against me, arm across my chest, leg sliding between my thighs, and I tucked the comforter around him and under his chin. The way the man was notched against me, fitting easily, was like we had been lying in each other’s arms forever. It was natural, it felt right, and when he tilted his head and kissed under my jaw, I shivered with the contact.

“Like I said, three years ago, I was really messed up, and then I met you.”

“Oh, so you’re grateful,” I replied, finally understanding. “Baby, you don’t have to sleep with—”

“Leo,” he growled at me, pinching my side, hard.

“Owww, shit,” I laughed, trying to squirm away from him.

“No,” he ordered, holding me still. “I was grateful at first, so thankful that you gave me a job and took a chance on me. I got the guys for my work family and your family for my real one. You gave me a new life and security and safety. You’ve never treated me like I was stupid or young or anything but me. You’ve been a big brother and a boss and a father all rolled up into one. You’ve been everything I needed, and most of all, you’ve been the only person I’ve ever trusted to tell what happened to me, because you’re the only person I cared enough about to let all the way in. I feel safe when I’m with you, and I finally figured out why that is.”

“’Cause you know I’m big enough to protect you.” I offered the easy explanation, my voice gruff, hoarse with emotion.

“No,” he said, hand on the side of my neck, his lips nibbling over my jaw. “I feel safe because I know you would never hurt me. I didn’t think I would ever trust anyone again, but watching you, being with you, spending time with you day in and day out, I just did. You are a good man, Leo Foster, and anyone lucky enough to have you should keep you forever.”

It was nice to hear.

“And so I decided that I was ready for you to see me.”

“I always—”

“No, you don’t,” he apprised softly, his hand sliding down my throat to my collarbone and lower, across my chest. “You see your friend; you don’t see a hot piece of ass.”

“Charlie, you’re not just—”

“I’m a man, Leo. I’m not just your friend, and I need to get laid.”

“Well, then you should go take care of that.”

“What do you think I’m doing here?” He chuckled, and the sound was adorable. “You need to put your hands all over me and kiss me and fuck me so hard and so long that I won’t be able to walk.”

“Baby, you just came to terms with—”

“No,” he told me, and I realized where his hand was going when it slid under the elastic waistband of my sweats. “I just told you. Three years ago, I was working through things. When I was jumping at my own shadow and you told me to take karate or something—”

“God,” I cut him off. “I feel like such an ass now for saying—”

“No.” He whispered in my ear. “The fact that you were irritated and not treating me like I was gonna break, not trying to get me in bed—that was the best thing that could’ve ever happened. I was just one of the guys, and that’s been amazing. It’s been everything I wanted until now.”