“You got Kirian to look into her?”
Granny looks miffed. She drops what she’s holding, the guy’s screw goes wonky—story of my life right there—and he curses. Then, Granny curses. “Sorry, Hue,” she says, batting her eyelashes at him. “Don’t worry. We’ll get the screwing down sooner or later. A little learning curve here and there doesn’t hurt anyone.”
He winks at her.
Barf-o-rama right here!
“Of course, I had Kirian look into her. You think I’m going to pay some hacker I don’t know from a lump on the teat of a log to look into someone you used to date?”
Yes, you would.
“What the heck is a teat on a log?” I shriek. I know it’s a bad sign when a person can practically feel their blood start to boil. I’ve never had that sensation before. I can also feel my face getting hot, and I hate that it’s color-coordinated to match my mood at the moment. I’d very much like to keep my anger and incredulity to myself.
“Just an expression.” Granny waves me off. She’s not even concerned about this! Right, she’s had time to digest it all. This isn’t new to her. “Anyway, yes, I had Kirian look into her. He might have had to bend the law a little, especially where privacy is concerned, but he found out she has a son. I asked him to follow her and get a photo—”
“You what?”
“Well, what was I supposed to do? I was curious. I’m smarter than a teat on a log, and I just had a hunch. I had him follow her one day when she was taking her son to the park. He got a photo, and the resemblance was uncanny!”
“So Kirian knew. And you knew. And no one thought to tell me?”
“Obviously, we thought about it,” Granny says dryly and rolls her eyes. “I went to a lot of trouble to steal the bracelet from your house and mail it to Luna. She’s your soulmate, that’s obvious. I wasn’t doing any harm with my meddling for a change. And I knew you’d find out about Milo sooner or later.”
“Gah! You even know his name?”
“Well, yes, of course. What kind of skill level do you think your cousin has? He’s very good at what he does.”
“Kirian is in security, Granny! Home security.”
“Yes. But he’s thinking about branching out into cybersecurity as well.”
“He should probably take his own advice before he gets arrested. And since when does owning a security company turn a person into a private investigator? Right, that would be when someone’s grandmother gets her panties in a twist about a bunch and a curse, and he couldn’t say no.”
“Don’t talk about your grandmother’s underwear,” the dude with the drill chimes. “That’s just disrespectful, son.”
I close my eyes. “Okay, so you found out my ex-girlfriend owns a shop, had her investigated, stole my cursed bracelet from me, mailed it to her, and put this whole plot into motion, but I’m the one who’s being disrespectful?”
“Something like that,” Granny mutters, shaking her head. “Anyway, this is fabulous news. I was hoping you were coming to lay out your plan for winning Luna back now that you know she’s your soulmate and you’ve reproduced with her.”
“Granny!”
“If she didn’t tell you, she had good reasons. You used to be a mopey son of a bitch. Scared of his own shadow, at least when it came to love. All of you kids are the same, which is why I got the heirlooms cursed to help you on your journey. I know all about the pact you kids made to keep from falling in love and the curses from dominating your lives. You all vowed not to believe in them. Well, I hate to tell you, but it’s real, and it’ll happen anyway, no matter what pinky promise you made with your cousins. You have a son, Tor. Better get your head in the game here.”
“Head in the game,” the guy echoes.
God, I’m really starting to despise this guy. “What are you doing here anyway?” I thunder at him. “Who are you?’
“I’m the delivery guy. I offered to help your Granny put this desk together.”
“Oh, goodness,” Granny says and blushes. “That was last week. Don’t make it sound like we don’t know each other. “
I cover my eyes before they start to bleed. “Christ. I don’t even want to know.”
“That’s right,” Granny says, happy as a clam in a jam. “You didn’t come to talk about me. You came to talk about how, as I once phrased it to your cousin, Ash, you’re going to pull your noggin out of your rumpus and get the girl back.”
I’m about two point eight seconds away from having a nuclear meltdown. “That’s not what I came to talk about!”
“Mmm-hmmm,” Granny says. She stands up, wipes her hands on her hot pink pants, and nods at her desk. “I have to finish this. If you don’t have a plan on how to win Luna back and be a part of your son’s life, then I suggest you get one.”