Uncertain how to rectify the situation, I plow my fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry about springing my feelings on you,” I mumble, feeling like an ass. “I know we haven’t been together that long.” I jerk my shoulders, unsure how to explain without fucking things up any further than they already are. How do I convey that nothing feels more right in my life than she does? Then we do? “Maybe it was too much too soon.”
Here’s a bit of irony—I’ve never told anyone except for my parents that I loved them. I’ve never dated anyone long enough to develop strong emotions. Or maybe I didn’t allow myself to go there for whatever reason.
And now that I have...
She wasn’t ready to hear it. Hell, if a girl told me that she loved me, I’d run for the hills.
That’s exactly what Kira did, and it freaked me out. I mean, come on, we weren’t even going out. That girl didn’t love me. How could she possibly when she didn’t even know the real me?
But Sydney does. She understands me better than anyone else. I’ve shared stuff with her that I’ve always held deep inside.
Her fingers freeze on the shirt she’s holding. Her eyes stay lowered, pinned to the duffle she’s in the process of packing. Is this really what it’s come to? She can’t meet my gaze or give me a straight-up answer?
“What’s going on?” My fingers flex with the need to wrap around her. The scary part is that I can feel her slipping away and I have no idea how to stop it. Before I realize it, I’m on the move, stalking around the queen-sized bed and pulling her into my arms. “You need to tell me what the problem is. How else can we fix it?”
When she refuses to look me in the eyes, I grab hold of her chin and lift it so that she has no other choice but to meet the intensity of my gaze. A strange mixture of guilt and grief flash across her face. Nothing about this conversation—if that’s what you want to call it—makes sense. All I know is that my insides are being eaten alive by nerves.
“Talk to me,” I plead.
Why won’t she tell me what’s going on?
What the hell could be so wrong?
Sydney sucks in a long, shuddering breath, holding it captive inside her lungs before forcing it back into the atmosphere. “This isn’t working.”
I blink. “What?”
Her tongue darts out nervously to moisten her lips before she whispers, “This isn’t working, Brayden.”
Those four words are enough to make my heart skip a painful beat before jackhammering into overdrive against my rib cage.
What’s not working?
Wait a minute...
My mouth drops open. “Are you saying that the two of us together isn’t going to work?” I can only stare in shock. “You want to break up?”
When her gaze darts away and she remains silent, I growl, “Sydney!”
Her eyes widen before snapping back to mine. “Yes, I do.”
I shake my head as if to clear it, but it doesn’t help. No matter what I was expecting her to say, this wasn’t it. Not by a long shot. “I don’t understand. Why?”
“It’s just...”
When her voice dies a slow death, I’m left hanging. Or maybe I’m in free fall. I have no idea. This conversation doesn’t feel real.
“It’s just what, Syd? Tell me what the hell is going on here, because I don’t understand any of it. I’d thought everything was good. I’d thought we were good.”
Tears spring to her eyes, making them appear even more vibrant than usual as she presses her lips together until they drain of color.
Why won’t she give me an answer?
Tension fills my shoulders. “Is this because of what I said last night? Is our relationship moving too fast for you?” I gulp down the growing desperation that clogs my throat, making it impossible to breathe. When Sydney remains silent, I start to babble. I can’t stop myself. “If that’s the case, then we can slow track it. I’m sorry, I thought we were both on the same page.” It had sure felt like it last night. Hell, this entire weekend.
You know what?
This entire damn relationship. Even when we were fake dating, it still felt like we were moving at the same pace, in the same direction even when we didn’t understand what direction that was. It’s a real kick in the ass to realize that I couldn’t be further off base. Her continued silence is killing me. “You’ve got to give me some answers here, Syd. I don’t want to keep playing this guessing game with you.”
There’s a long pause before she murmurs, “I...I don’t feel the same way.”
The acidic taste of bile rises up in my throat. The pounding of my heartbeat fills my ears until it sounds like the roar of the ocean, making it impossible to think straight. “You don’t think you’ll ever feel that way?” It takes effort to force out the rest. “Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”