“I—”
I’m at a complete loss for words. My mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, gasping for its last dying breath. I probably look ridiculous. “Finish up so we can go,” I finally whisper in a strangled voice. It feels like I’m watching a car crash in slow motion, and there’s nothing I can do to prevent it from occurring.
Lucus scowls as his expression turns obstinate. “No.”
Brayden’s cautious gaze bounces between us as if he’s attempting to puzzle out the sudden change in my behavior before shifting his attention to Lucus. “Hey,” he says softly, “it’s all right if you want to talk about your brother. I know what it’s like to lose someone you love.” He reaches out and tentatively lays his hand over my clenched fingers. “Even though it can be painful to talk about the people who are no longer with us, it can also help make them feel like they’re not so far away. For a long time, it felt like there was a giant hole in my heart when I thought about my dad.”
Oh, god. Please tell me this isn’t happening.
Lucus stares at his ice cream as chocolate slowly crawls down the waffle cone and onto his fingers. “I miss him a lot. He was my best friend.”
Hot tears prick the back of my eyes. My heart pounds so harshly that it becomes almost unbearable. Any moment, it’ll explode from my chest.
“He made a mistake.” Lucus’ expression becomes pinched. “A terrible mistake. That’s what Mom says.”
“Lucus,” I croak, only wanting him to stop.
Confusion flickers across his features as he glances at me from across the table. “That’s what Mom says, Sydney.”
My brother realizes that what Peter did was wrong because it’s been a constant refrain, but he doesn’t understand that the brother he loved killed someone else because of a poor decision on his part. It breaks my heart, because Peter really was Lucus’ best friend. He was two years older than him and was the epitome of a protective older brother. It was always the two of us who flanked Lucus. As much as I miss my brother, he misses him more. Peter’s disappearance left a void in his life that is impossible to fill.
“I know,” I whisper.
Brayden’s bewildered gaze continues to bounce between us.
“He shouldn’t have been driving.” He parrots my mother’s words.
I blink away the tears that have filled my eyes. For the first time since we instituted our Tuesday night tradition, neither of us finishes our ice cream. Both cones have turned into a runny mess.
“Wait a minute...Peter died in a car accident?” Brayden asks. His voice sounds as if it’s traveling over a long distance.
I force myself to remain calm, even though I feel like I might throw up all over the place. “Yes.”
“When?” Tension fills every line of his face. I can almost see the wheels in his head turning.
He’ll figure it out.
That is, if he hasn’t already.
Dread explodes inside me as I force out the response. “Four years ago.”
His eyes widen as he sucks in a sharp breath before slowly forcing it out again. “Your brother is Peter Daniels.”
It’s not a question. More of a statement.
I jerk my head into a nod.
Emotion crashes over his features. Shock. Anger. Hurt. Heartbreak. And then it dawns on him. All of the questions that have been swimming around in his head for the past week. “When did you figure it out?”
I press my lips into a tight line, not wanting to give him an answer. Although, my acknowledgment isn’t necessary. I can almost see him mentally tripping back in time to when everything changed between us.
“The cabin,” he whispers. “That’s when you started acting so distant. At the time, I couldn’t figure out what was going on,” he murmurs, eyes unfocused as if he’s become sucked into the past. “I’ve been kicking myself for coming on too strong and frightening you away.” Hot color rushes to his cheeks and his eyes turn steely. “Instead of telling me the truth, you let me believe that.”
Tears pool in my eyes as I reach for him. The need to explain myself bubbles up inside me like a geyser. As soon as my fingers make contact with his flesh, he flinches, shoving away from the booth before stumbling back a few steps. He can’t get away from me fast enough. This is exactly what I knew would happen if Brayden ever discovered the truth.
“Don’t touch me,” he growls.
I raise shaking fingers to my mouth to stifle the cry of anguish fighting to break free. “I’m so sorry.”
He shoves his hand through his short hair. “I don’t want to hear your excuses. You could have told me the truth at any time. Instead, you chose to lie.” A rough chuckle slips free from his lips. “And here I’d been so intent on winning you back.” He shakes his head. “I’m such a dumbass.”