I would let her go.
She’d go back to her loved ones.
And then, I would let the winter come.
I wouldn’t bother planting vegetables. I wouldn’t hunt. I wouldn’t gather.
I would just wait.
And I would be grateful as the snow finally ended my misery.
Ripping my mouth from hers, I latched my teeth onto her neck. Deep and unapologetic, completely uncontrolled as primal instincts overrode the shreds of my humanity.
I wanted her to run, but I also wanted her to spread her legs.
I wanted her to say yes and no.
I wanted so many contradictory things. The two sides of me tugged in opposite ends of a war I couldn’t keep fighting. The protector and the damned, the lover and the nightmare.
Her hands landed in my hair, dragging my head back up as her mouth sought mine.
She willingly kissed me.
She inched me closer to the edge.
Our teeth clacked and tongues slashed, reaching dangerous levels.
I felt it.
The blackness teasing my mind. Memories gathering with tar and oil.
“Gem...” I choked on a growl. “I don’t...I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”
She inhaled, harsh and quick. “You’re not hurting me, Kas.” She nipped at my bottom lip. “Kiss me. Stop fighting what you feel and give in.”
Christ, that was what I was trying so hard not to do.
If I gave in, who knew if she’d be breathing after. Who knew if I’d—
“Kiss me,” she moaned, her leg latching around my hip, rocking her pussy against my achingly hard cock. Fissures of desire shot through me. Lust exploded in my blood.
“I need you to finish what you started in the garden.” Her body writhed against mine in need. “Please, Kas.”
Her plea.
Her need.
It broke me.
My head roared with darkness. My mind gave into sickness.
Shoving up her nightgown, I gathered the soft material at her waist with jerky grabs. I snarled with need as I found creamy thighs, strong muscle, and hot wetness between her legs.
“Oh, God.” She jerked as I sank two fingers deep inside her. For a second, she hovered in propriety and decorum. She stood on her tiptoes, balanced on my hand with two of my fingers impaled inside her.
We made eye contact.
Electricity swarmed round us, making my skin prickle and heart race.
I stroked her.
I thrust my hand deeper.
And something switched inside her. Something got loose. Something manic and wild.
“Kas.” Her hands clawed at my naked chest, her nails scratching me as she dropped them to my jeans and tore at the zipper. “Now.” She undid the button and pushed them over my ass. “I need you now.”
I quaked as her need infected me.
It rippled through my memories, plaiting present with past, sinking me deeper into things I couldn’t face.
My jeans fell to my ankles.
Gemma pulled me forward, and the second our skin touched skin, we lost ourselves.
I fell on her like a savage. Kissing, touching, fingering.
We moaned and pawed.
She grabbed my length and squeezed, stroking me fast and hard.
We weren’t human. We were claws and cruelty, imprinting and scarring each other before the moment could be stolen.
She choked on a cry as I inserted a third finger, her hips riding my hand with total abandon. I stopped kissing her to watch. To witness how her eyelashes feathered on her cheeks as she squeezed her eyes closed with need. How her mouth popped wide with a silent scream. How her hair rubbed against the wall as I thrust my cock into her palm.
A slither of blackness hissed in my mind, hinting at a memory I wouldn’t like.
Shaking my head, I forced myself to stay with her.
“Kas...I need you.” Her eyes blazed open, pupils dilated with hunger. She looked absolutely perfect. So stunning. So unbelievably beautiful and wild and mine.
She wanted me.
Truly wanted me.
She was addicted to the same kind of madness I was. A disease that had no medicine or remedy, leaving us both doomed forever.
“I need you to fuck me, Kas. Show me you feel this too.”
I shut my eyes as my mind swarmed with sick shadow. Her command mirrored the mistresses of my past. Her instruction to pleasure her. Her authority shackling my body to her direction.
I shuddered.
“Hey...it’s me, Kas.” Her hand landed on my cheek, forcing my eyes wide. I focused on her. Only her. I did my best to forget about the abusers of my childhood.
“Just me.” Her whisper arrowed through my heart. “Just us.”
I drowned in her stare, suffocating on the emotions she let me see.
She didn’t just want my body.
She wanted me.
Every part.
All of it.
And fuck, I wanted to give it to her.
I wanted to be honest.
To be free.
To be happy.
I opened my mouth to tell her I loved her. That despite all my martyrdom and desire to be good, I would never let her out of my arms. She was mine...for fucking eternity.
I bowed closer.
I grew drunk on her lips as I let the final barriers inside me crash down.