‘Look at me, damn it!’ he growled as he grasped her by the upper arms.
She looked at him with tears shining in her eyes. ‘Why are you spoiling the special thing we just shared?’ she choked. ‘You’re making it feel so tawdry and cheap.’
He lifted himself off her in one fluid movement, tucking in his shirt and re-zipping himself as he looked down at her with flinty disdain. ‘That is because what we just shared is tawdry and cheap,’ he said. ‘It was just sex. Good sex, I am prepared to admit, but, as for being special—no.’
Keira felt his words like a stake going through her heart. How could he be so cruel? Even though shame coursed through her as she fumbled her way back into her clothes, she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of grinding her pride to powder beneath the heel of his shoe. She had made love with him because she loved him. He could cheapen it all he liked but she would always treasure every moment she spent in his arms.
But then she wasn’t the only person who had been in his arms lately, she reminded herself painfully. Somehow she couldn’t see him describing his intimate moments with the elegant Gisela Hunter in such crude terms.
‘I probably should have asked you this earlier, but I am assuming you are still on the pill?’ he said into the simmering silence.
Keira felt her fingers momentarily stall on the fastening of her bra and hoped he hadn’t noticed. She adjusted her clothing and lifted her chin to meet his steady gaze. ‘I happened to notice you’ve dropped your safe sex standards,’ she said with a cutting edge to her voice. ‘I hope I’m not going to get some nasty little infection passed on from one of your many girlfriends.’
His mouth tightened. ‘If anyone should be concerned about being infected, it should be me,’ he returned coolly.
She gave him a caustic glare. ‘You’re such a bastard.’
‘You did not answer my question,’ he reminded her. ‘Are you currently using a reliable method of contraception?’
She rolled her lips together, trying to avoid his gaze. She had stopped taking the low dose pill weeks ago. She didn’t even know where the packet was now.
‘Keira?’
‘Um…yes.’ She stumbled through her reply. ‘I’m covered.’
His dark gaze held hers. ‘If there is any doubt in your mind, you need to tell me now,’ he said. ‘If you were to conceive a child, it would be very hard to…’He paused, as if wondering whether to continue.
‘Go on, say it,’ she put in bitterly. ‘Don’t spare my feelings, Patrizio.’
‘I am not sure what you are referring to. I was merely going to say—’
‘I know what you were going to say,’ she said through tight lips, her eyes flashing with resentment. ‘You were going to say it would be hard to prove paternity, weren’t you?’
‘As far as I am aware, a simple test can give us that information if we need to do so,’ he said. ‘But no, I was not going to say that at all.”
Keira felt herself backing down. ‘Oh…well, then…sorry…I thought…’
‘I was going to say it would be hard to justify going through with
a divorce if we conceive a child,’ he said. ‘Don’t you agree?’
She looked at him in wide-eyed surprise. ‘Are you mad?’
‘Not mad, just thinking of the child caught in the middle,’ he said.
‘A baby is not part of a marriage repair kit,’ she said. ‘If anything, a child would put even more stress on a relationship that’s going nowhere. Besides, imagine the emotional damage to a child growing up with parents who despise each other. That is tantamount to abuse.’
‘What would you do if it happened?’
‘You mean if I got pregnant?’
He nodded.
She swallowed as she tried to remember when she had last had a period and her heart began to hammer with panic as she did the sums.
Surely it hadn’t been that long?
She had been sick with the flu, which had disrupted her cycle.