Make Me Crazy

“Maybe a little. I think it’s the heat.”

“I’d say it’s the beer.”

“That too.” She giggles. “I don’t drink much, to be honest. It’s too expensive.”

“Right, I almost forgot, you have to pay for that apartment in your crappy neighborhood.”

She rolls her eyes at me. “It’s not going to work, Mac. You’re not going to bait me like a fish on your hook.”

I grin at the analogy. “Are you sure? I bet I can.”

“Bet you can’t. I grew up with two older brothers and one older sister. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s how to not get sucked into a fight.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Call it what you want, you’re going to lose.”

“Oh, I think I can get you.”

“No, you can’t.”

“What are you going to give me if I win?”

“What do you want?” she asks coyly.

“That’s a loaded question.” I cannot wipe the grin off my face and I know she knows what I want.

“I think I know what the answer is.”

“Doubt it. I have a pretty big…imagination.”

Paige bursts out laughing at my stupid joke, and it’s a sound I think I’d like to hear every day for the next forty years or so.

When she stops laughing, she has a sip of her beer, then gives me a curious look. “How big? Like are we talking anaconda big?”

Now, it’s my turn to laugh. When I get myself under control, I give her a mock-sexy look. “It’s hard to describe really, it’s kind of something you have to see to believe.”

“Sounds intimidating.” She licks her lips and it’s all I can do not to grab her and pull her onto my lap.

“Why intimidating? I thought most women liked big.”

“Well, I don’t exactly have a lot

of experience.”

“How is that possible? Certainly not from lack of opportunity.”

“I had a boyfriend back in college, but it didn’t last. He got what he wanted, then moved on.”

“Oh, so a real stand-up guy, then.” My tone is pure sarcasm to hide the fact that I would like to punch the shit out of whoever the hell he is.

“Yeah, totally. Turns out his frat was competing for most ‘beaver pelts’, so it was more of a quantity thing.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry, Paige. Men can be such assholes.”

She shrugs. “I should have thanked him. It was a good life lesson for me. I never got fooled again and I never will.”

“Smart girl. Wait for the right guy next time.” I sigh, knowing I’m not the right man.