Jess - One Month Later
"It's like heaven and hell all at the same time," I say to Dina as we sit on the swings and watch Ben play in the sand with the kids she babysits. "I mean, he's amazing. The way he looks at me is…just like something out of a Nicholas Sparks movie, you know? He's so romantic and dreamy and careful with me. And when we make-out, it's like the rest of the world and all of my problems just disappear."
Dina looks at me, her face screwed up in confusion. “What’s the hell part, then?”
“Because I can’t sleep with him even though I want to so bad it’s making me crazy.”
“Why not? You’re over eighteen. It’s a free country. You both want each other.”
“Yeah, but I can’t get pregnant My mom would murder me. And when she was done, I’d be left just like Carla. Stuck in this stupid town. Stuck raising a child on my own.”
“There are other options, you know.”
I shake my head. "I can't go see Doc Taylor. Not with my aunt working there."
“Condoms are pretty reliable.”
“Pretty reliable isn’t enough for me. I come from ridiculously fertile stock. Plus, I just can’t. I promised myself I wouldn’t make the same mistakes as my mom and Carla and I’m going to hold strong. If I knew this was going to be more than a summer fling, I’d go for it. But, there’s no way to be sure.”
“Sure, there is. Does he talk about the future?”
"Yes, as much as I'll let him." I let my bare feet drag in the warm sand. "It makes me feel kind of scared."
“You’re scared to believe him in case he’s lying.”
“Or he changes his mind. I mean that can happen, too, right? He goes back to college, or gets signed by an AFL team and forgets about me. We’re just from such different worlds, you know?”
“I know. But, most things aren’t worth doing if they aren’t a little bit scary.”
I laugh. “Thanks, Oprah.”
"I'm serious. That's one of the things I know for sure," Dina says, lightly punching my arm as she swings forward.
Ben comes running up to me. “Auntie Jess, I’m hungry.”
“Again? We just ate lunch, little man.” I muss up his hair.
“I’m a growing boy, Auntie.”
“Okay, let’s go get you some food, then.”
That night, Ethan sneaks me onto his parents’ yacht. When we get there, he lights some candles that sit on a table for two on the deck. The moon is full and shines brightly over the calm water. I’m so glad that I decided to wear something pretty tonight. I’m in a flirty red dress that I borrowed from Dina and, with her help, I managed to tame my hair into submission. It sits on my shoulders in smooth waves instead of wild curls shooting out from every angle. Ethan can’t seem to take his eyes off me which makes the effort worth it. He puts on some John Legend music and holds out his hand to me.
“Wow, for a football player, you’re very romantic.”
“Only for you. I’ve never done any of this before.” He pulls me to him and wraps his arms around me, then we dance together until the song ends and a new one begins.
“I never want this moment to end,” I say.
“Me, neither. You feel so perfect against me, Jess.” He leans down to kiss me on the lips. It’s a slow, long kiss that tells me how much he cares.
When he pulls away, I whisper, “Is this really happening?”
Ethan smiles down at me and nods. “I wanted to make tonight one that you’ll never forget.”
“I won’t. This is all so perfect.”
"Good, because I wanted the first time I tell you I love you to be a moment you'll always remember."