“I’ll have you back when lunch is over,” he calls back.
Since he hasn’t missed a step, I take off a little faster to catch up to him. He opens his passenger door, gestures for me to get in, then walks around to the driver’s side.
Chapter 24
I dunk a fry in cheese sauce, then drag it through a pool of ketchup, creating a cheesy ketchup marriage in my French fry boat.
“I used to be a perfectionist,” I announce, figuring I should probably explain my outburst.
“Well, thank God you overcame that,” Carter shoots back, wryly.
“I didn’t mean to yell at you,” I add. “Although it is largely your fault I failed that test.”
He nods. “It is. I’m sorry.”
“No condom was also your fault. Even if I’d asked you to stop, I’m sure you wouldn’t have.”
Not bothering to confirm or deny, Carter grabs a fry and dips it into my cheesy ketchup. “I’ll buy you the morning after pill, if you’re that worried about it.”
Sitting back in my seat, I demand, “Why are you so calm?”
Carter regards me warily, pausing with his drink halfway to his lips. “Do you not want me to be calm?”
“The natural reaction to me yellin’ at you about possible pregnancy and blamin’ you for potentially ruining my life does not seem like placidity—especially mere hours into a brand new relationship. You should be runnin’ for the hills right now.”
Shrugging, Carter takes a sip of his drink, then says, “Getting yelled at sometimes is part of the girlfriend package. I knew what I was signing up for. To be honest, I’ve given you more reasons than most to yell at me, so it was probably past due.” He puts his drink cup down and glances up at me. “You’re scared. I’m not gonna get mad at you for getting scared.”
“I am not scared,” I shoot back, on instinct. Missing a beat, I ask for clarification, “What do you mean, I’m scared?”
“You freaked out about the test, but that’s not what you started yelling at me about. That was just the thing that decimated your composure. You’ve told me everything that scares you about me in tiny increments. I think I might finally have the whole picture.” He grabs a fry and points it at me. “Curiously, the event responsible for you bombing that test isn’t even on the list anymore. If it is, it’s the last item, and only added on because you’re already mad at me and looking for reasons. That’s odd, but cool. Works out well for me. I can snip the wires of all the things that do have you freaked out, but if I had to cut that one, you’d be just like any other girl. You’re not, so you’re worth more to me, and you should relax. I’m in no hurry to get rid of you, I’m not interested in anyone else, and I am not going to ruin your life. Change it a little, maybe, but not ruin.”
“That’s easy for you to say now,” I mutter. “You think you’re invincible. I’ve had visions of onesies dancing through my mind all day. I can’t handle the stress of risky sex. We can’t do that again. I’ll go on the pill or the shot or something, but it takes a good month to kick in, so for the foreseeable future, if we’re going to have sex, you need to wrap it up.”
“I don’t think I’m invincible,” he disagrees. “It just doesn’t scare me as much as it does you. We don’t see it the same way. You view an accidental pregnancy as something that would automatically ruin your life. I don’t. While I’m certainly not trying to get you pregnant, if it happened, I wouldn’t fling myself off a bridge over it.”
“No, you’d fling me off the bridge,” I mutter at him.
Carter smirks. “I wouldn’t fling you off a bridge, either. I’m an asshole in a lot of ways, but not when it comes to kids. I like kids. If I knocked you up, I’d take responsibility. I wouldn’t run off and leave you here slaving away and taking care of my ‘Carter clone’ all by yourself. And you’re too smart to go to community college, anyway,” he adds dismissively.
“Just for the first two years,” I defend. “To save money. I’d only be takin’ general education classes anyway, then for my last two years I’ll transfer somewhere else.”
Carter’s eyebrows rise. “Wait, that’s your actual plan? Not just your teen mom horror scenario, but what you actually plan to do?”
“Unless I can get a full scholarship elsewhere, yeah. I mean, I’m still hoping for that, but I’m trying to stay realistic to avoid being crushed if it doesn’t happen. I can’t afford tuition at out-of-state schools without financial aid. There’s a school in PA where students in the top 10 percent of their classes get free rides. Out of all the schools I’ve looked at, that one seems like the best fit for me, so I’m hoping I can go there. The campus is beautiful, too. You should see pictures of it in fall, with all the trees.” I sigh. “I want to go to school up north so badly.”