Untouchable (Untouchables, 1)

I’m relieved Carter respected my wishes. I don’t know what possessed me to lie to him in the first place, I just didn’t think he would get so crazy about it. I thought he might experience the same wounded sensation of a bruised ego and a punched heart as I felt when I saw him flirting with Blondie right in front of me. I didn’t think he would threaten to target my mystery boyfriend, but on reflection, I should have been prepared for the possibility. Carter is crazy and spoiled, so of course he thinks he should get his way while doing whatever the hell he wants. Of course he wants his unused toy on a shelf instead of letting it move on and find someone else to play with.

I can’t even fault him for that sentiment, though. It would be severely hypocritical. I’m finding I feel the same way. I don’t want to be with Carter, but I don’t want him to be with anyone else either. It’s not like I want him to be lonely or unloved, I just… don’t want him to be sexually or emotionally invested in any other girls.

I think what I actually want is a time machine so that I could travel back to the moment Erika shoved her cell phone at me. Instead of wanting to know and looking at the phone, I would have just surprised her by punching her in the face. Would have been well worth the detention or suspension, or whatever it is they do to bad kids who punch other students. I’ve never actually had a detention, but it seems like I could just use it as an additional study hall and get a jumpstart on my homework. At any rate, after the detention, Carter would still be my boyfriend, and I wouldn’t have to feel conflicted about anything.

Or maybe I need to set the time machine back a little more. Return to that night I left him unsatisfied and remedy the damn issue myself, then he never would have gone over to Erika’s house in the first place.

When it’s time for history class, I walk a little slower. Ideally I want to arrive right before the bell rings, that way I don’t have to witness the pre-class flirting of Carter and Jenna. I get there just before the bell, but Carter isn’t in his seat. I frown at his absence, but figure he’s just running late. I set up my study area, the bell rings, but Carter never comes.

About ten minutes into class, he finally shows up. Mr. Hassenfeld stops talking to stare Carter down disapprovingly. “So nice of you to grace us with your presence, Mr. Mahoney.”

“I do what I can to please the fans,” Carter assures him with an easy smile.

I roll my eyes, but a few kids chuckle. Ugh.

After class, I don’t feel as terrible as I expect to. Maybe it was his late arrival or maybe he just didn’t feel like torturing me today, but he doesn’t spend the whole class flirting with Jenna. There is still some interaction between them, but she’s clearly driving it. I wonder if she has already lost his interest, but that might be wishful thinking.

Lecture runs late and I’m a little slower about getting my stuff put away so I can leave. Carter and Jenna walk out together. I keep my head down, refusing to look at them, but I hear her talking about her cat. I bet Carter doesn’t have a single fuck to give about her cat. I bet he would rather stab himself in the eyeball than listen to another word about Fluffy.

Trying to shake off the ickiness of just having overheard her speaking to him, I gather my things and make my way out of the classroom.

“There you are!”

I turn, startled, at Kasey, the photographer from the football game. She is plodding toward me with a wide smile on her face. Pointing at myself, I question, “Me?”

Nodding enthusiastically, she says, “I needed to catch you after class. Can you come sit with me at lunch? I need to talk to you about an opportunity I think you’ll be interested in.”

“Lunch? In the cafeteria?”

Kasey blinks. “Last I checked, that was the popular lunch location.”

“Oh. Yeah. I don’t eat in the cafeteria. I could catch you after school lets out instead?”

“No,” she says, firmly determined. “I have stuff after school. It has to be at lunch. Come on, the lunch room isn’t so bad. It’s one day. It won’t kill you, I promise.”

Dread consumes me at the thought of going back to that cafeteria. Sure, the “Zoey the ho” period has passed, but it’s still a room populated with people I don’t want to be around. I’ve grown accustomed to my peaceful, isolated lunch breaks.

Kasey doesn’t give me much of a choice. She’s a dog with a bone, and the bone is my presence at lunch. Grace might also be offended if she sees me back in the lunchroom, but sitting at a different table instead of with her. Can’t sit with her anyway, though. Luke sits at that table, and if I show up in the cafeteria again all of a sudden sitting at a table with Luke… yeah, no.