Can't Fix Cupid

He shoots me a look. “Relax. She was suckin’ up that Lust faster than a sex pixie sucks on my co—”

“La la la,” I interrupt, wishing I could stick my fingers into my ears. “Don’t need the visual.”

He shrugs, not at all deterred. “Alright, Triple X, this is your last shot,” he tells me soberly, leading me forward until we’re standing right in front of the arch. “I don’t have a fooking clue if this is actually gonna work, but if I were you, I’d be wishin’ that this here mist would stick right up my arse and fook me good, cuz if this doesn’t work, and you don’t make any Matches soon, the Veil is gonna pop your existence like a fooking bubble o’ gum.”

I swallow hard, staring at the pink clouds. “How long do I have to hit my quotas?”

He shrugs. “Based on what’s happened to others, I’d say you have another earth month. Maybe less.”

Fuck.

I nod numbly. If this doesn’t work, that’s it. Game over. I’ll cease to exist. This is my last chance.

“Will you put me back into the human realm where I was?” I ask quietly.

“Aye.”

“Sorry to rush, but we’re on a very tight time constraint,” the angel says from her spot. “We have to keep the line moving.”

“No problem, dove,” Sev says with a devastating grin that makes her blush again. He turns back to me. “Right, so since this hasn’t actually been done before, I really can’t tell you what to expect. Ready?”

I blow out a breath. “Umm...yes?”

He arches a brow. “You sure?”

I hold up my hand and tilt it back and forth. “I’m...about half sure.”

He lifts a shoulder. “Eh. Good enough for me. How about you?”

“I’m gonna go for it and hope for the best.”

“That’s the spirit, luv. Four weeks and counting. We don’t want you gettin’ popped.”

“This is gonna work,” I say, trying to convince myself as I hover-hop from side-to-side like I’m gearing myself up. “I’m ready.”

Without giving myself time to chicken out, I lock eyes on the churning cotton candy mist, and then with a warrior cry that would give Braveheart goosebumps, I divebomb my ethereal ass right into it.

I’m swallowed up instantly, and the cupidity essence envelops my entire being.

It’s disorienting, and the mist is so thick that I can’t even see the outline of my ghostly form as I’m stuck in its swirling pink depths.

But I feel nothing.

No inspiring crackles of sensation. Nothing like an omniscient hug that lets me know my cupidity is getting put right this time.

One second, I’m in the thick of the cloud, waiting on tenterhooks for some kind of sign to let me know something is happening, and the next, the archway pushes me out like an ex-boyfriend getting tossed out the door, and it’s over.

I blink to clear my eyes from the pink haze, finding myself out of the archway and directly in front of a portal that will take me back to my post. The effervescent doorway is spinning like a drunk dude’s ceiling. Sev is sitting right beside it, waiting. He jumps to his feet when he sees me.

“Well, shite on a piss hill, you’re back. You were in there for fooking hours,” he says, shocking the hell out of me. It felt like seconds. “Well? How do you feel?”

I look down at myself, feeling absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. “I feel...the same.”

Disappointment flashes across his features. “Huh. That’s a yawner. Lemme see some Lust, then.”

I let out the biggest exhale I can and...nothing. Not even the embarrassing mustard yuck from earlier.

I want to cry.