Can't Fix Cupid

I look down at the shiny floor, trying not to completely fall apart in front of my supervisor. “Maybe it just takes some time to kick in?”

“Yeah, maybe,” he says doubtfully.

Who am I kidding? It didn’t work. I’m still the dud I was before. I’m a cupid who can’t cupid. It’s completely devastating.

My chin wobbles. “It didn’t work,” I whisper, my words belying my heartbreak. “Being a cupid feels so meant to be, but it’s not. Why won’t it work on me?” I ask miserably.

He must see the sorrow shining in my eyes, because his face softens. “Alright, luv. Let’s get you back to processing, yeah? You can be a lovely lady luck or some shite. I’m sure you’ll learn to like it.”

He’s right. There’s nothing else to do except choose a different afterlife job. But it kills me, like an arrow through the heart. It hurts so much that I can actually feel the anguish piercing my chest.

Wait a minute…

That really fricken hurts.

My mouth drops open in alarm, and my hand flies up over my heart. “Ouch!” I cry out as Sev looks at me like, what the fook is happening?

I stumble forward as pain suddenly consumes me. Pain that I shouldn’t feel, because I’m not supposed to feel anything in this form.

What. The. Actual. Cupid. Fuck.

Sev’s eyes widen as my back suddenly cracks with bone-splicing agony, and a blood-curdling scream rips out of my throat as my red wings rip from my back and disappear in a puff of pink mist.

Something went very, very wrong.

More pain slices through me, and this time when I stumble, it’s head-first into the spinning portal.

The last thing I see is Sev’s face grimacing on my behalf.

And then I’m gone, and pain is all I know.

Chapter 5

I’ve been yanked in and out of Cupidville a dozen times as a cupid. It’s not pleasant, but it doesn’t really hurt. It’s just uncomfortable.

But you know what definitely does hurt? Being shoved out of the fifth dimensional continuum while simultaneously having your wings be bitch-slapped out of your back. That shit stings like a motherfucker.

I’d never known pain until now as my wings are yanked from my body and my incorporeal self suddenly turns solid.

Oh, and to add to this lovely physical rush? I’m also falling. Like, through space or some shit.

My bones pop, my skin prickles, blood rushes through my veins, and my heart kickstarts. My lungs thrust out with air I’ve never breathed before, and my eyes burn until I realize I need to blink. My tongue is suddenly dry, my boobs are heavy, and my ass jiggles as I plummet into existence.

I land so hard that my teeth clack together with enough force that I’m sure I nearly crack one. I fall ass-first onto a hard marble floor and fuck—that is not a nice landing.

My tailbone shoots with pain at the impact, and I groan while trying to blink away the stars and the tears. At least the rest of the agonizing pain stopped tearing through me.

“Bitchtit cockshit,” I groan. “That fricken hurt!” I yell at the long-gone portal that just spat me out.

I clutch my head with my hands and bring my knees up against my chest. My body feels so incredibly heavy, but my mind? My mind is floating around like a kite, because I have no idea what the fuck just happened.

When I’m finally past the pain enough to see again, I look down at my body.

I’m completely naked. No more cute teal dress for me. Looking over my back, I confirm that my wings are definitely gone, although I still have my pink hair and my cupid number marked on my arm.

I yelp when a puff of pink smoke erupts in front of me, and then Sev appears.

He waves a hand in front of his face to dissipate the cupidity Veil pollution while I blink at him in surprise, trying to get my racing heart to slow down.