Can't Fix Cupid

“You do know that this is a nudist colony, right? Being naked is kind of our thing.”

Oh, right.

“So, how about it?” he prompts, although I’m not sure if he’s just asking for the jacket again or if he wants me to take some sort of nude pledge.

“Uh…I think I’ll just become a nudist later? If that’s okay?” I ask nervously, shooting a look over my shoulder at Hummingbird Judy.

I’m all for it if they want to let their nuts and bolts out of the toolbox, but I’m not sure the nudist life is for me. But what if it’s mandatory? That would really suck, since this place is already starting to grow on me. Plus, I have nowhere else to go.

Hummingbird Judy must see the panic on my face, because she comes to my rescue. “No need to worry. This isn’t a forced nudist community. You get to choose to be free of the weight of society’s appearance restrictions weighing on your shoulders.”

“Or—” Rob cuts in. “You can choose to wear clothing. Either way is just fine. We’re a zero pressure community.”

I blow out a relieved breath. Artist dude looks positively crestfallen. “Don’t worry. If I decide to go nude, you’ll be the first to know,” I promise him.

He sniffs in disappointment and takes the wrench out from behind his ear. “Thank you.”

He doesn’t even seem to want me to get naked just for naked’s sake. He just really wants this jacket. I’m not sure if I should be offended or not.

I look back at Judy and her men. Rob is wearing worn jeans and a button up, while Hale is wearing board shorts, a swimming shirt, and flip flops.

“Do you guys go nude?” I ask curiously.

“These two do,” Rob says, hiking a thumb over at them.

Hale claps him on the back. “Yeah, Robbie’s too self-conscious about the size of his dick.”

I snort out a laugh as Rob glares at his...brother-husband? Judy-lover-in-arms? Relationship compeer? I actually don’t know what to call them.

“My dick is bigger than yours, asswipe,” Rob shoots back.

Hummingbird Judy rolls her eyes. “Both of you have wonderfully fulfilling phalluses. Now come on.”

I swallow my laugh as the guys continue to razz each other back and forth as we double back to the music space. As soon as we approach the circle, the group stops what they’re doing and starts singing some sort of welcome chant, except none of them are singing the same lyrics, so it just sounds like a mishmash of voices that serenade at various pitches until they slowly taper off at different times.

I clear my throat and look around at all the expectant faces. “That was really…nice?” I say, accidentally making it sound like a question instead of a statement.

They don’t seem to notice, because the entire group grins happily at me.

“May the light shine out of you,” the guitar dude says.

Hummingbird Judy presses her palms together. “May the light reside within.”

Waving, we continue on, but my bare feet are sore, and all I wanna do is curl up in Warren’s suit jacket and take a nap.

“I can show you the pool and the relaxation room next,” Hummingbird Judy offers. “Or if you want, we can go take a hit on the pipe over there before seeing the dining tent.”

Gotta hand it to Judy for knowing how to have a good time.

“Actually, I’d really just love to rest for a bit? I’ve had kind of a long day.”

“Of course. There will be plenty of time to see more later. Let’s check the share board and see who you’ll be rooming with.”

She marches us over to the rec center, where I can see retirees holding their cue sticks and shoving their pucks at one another. And that’s not slang for something dirty.

“Shuffleboard!” I say excitedly. “Looks fun.”

Hale nods. “I’m the reigning champion,” he tells me seriously.