Can't Fix Cupid

“Rubidoux’s” Harvey answers quickly, giving her the name of one of the talent agencies we sometimes work with.

I give Harvey a what the fuck look. He shrugs.

“This is the perfect way to publicly show that you’re done with Marla May. That you’re looking for real love and are a changed man, while also launching a brand new dating app. Do you realize the women in this country will eat this shit up? It’s exactly what we need. Show the public that the great Warren Knight even uses this app to get matched. A few photo ops, some press releases, it’s just what we need,” she says, her eyes lit up in excitement. She holds out a hand to Trix. “Tonya West. Nice to meet you…”

“My name is Trix Valentine,” she answers, obviously still very excited about giving out her name. “And this is Blue. Warren’s date.”

Tonya looks practically giddy. “I love the juxtaposition of her freeing style versus Knight’s CEO vibe,” she says, eyeing Blue and me before switching her gaze to Trix. “And you. You have the whole modern cupid thing down pat. It’s subtle, but not too subtle. I’m into it. Good work.”

“Thanks!” Trix replies. “I’m going to teach him how not to be a bachelor dud.”

What the hell is happening right now?

I give Harvey a look, and he knows that I’m about to blow up and have security haul Trix out of my damn building, but he stops me before I can. “Excuse us, ladies, I need a sidebar with Knight for a moment.”

The women barely cast us a glance as they start talking excitedly about my supposed date night.

Harvey leads me several feet away and rounds on me. I open my mouth to argue, but he cuts me off first. “I know. I already know everything you want to say, so save it and just think for a second. Tonya is drooling over this and you know what? She’s right. This is genius.”

I gape at him. “You can’t possibly expect me to go through with this,” I say through gritted teeth.

“I know it’s insanity, but look at her. Just look.”

With a frustrated sigh, I look over my shoulder at Trix.

“Even you have to admit that she’s a walking, talking marketing campaign. And Tonya is eating it up. We both know Tonya’s instincts are always right. It’s one night, Warren. You can handle one night.”

I let out a harsh sigh. “Fuck.”

Harvey smirks. “You’ll have to charm your date first, bud.”

I roll my eyes, and he claps me on the back. “Come on, buck up buttercup. It’s just a date.”

I hate going on fucking dates.

The monotony of it all. It’s the same thing, every time, with practically the same woman. I don’t have a taste for it anymore, which is ironic, since I’ve had more dates in the last six months than my entire life. As soon as the Marla May incident happened, women have been lining up.

I don’t get the appeal from their standpoint, and it bores me, but I keep doing it anyway. I have no idea why. Maybe I’m looking for something...but that’s idiotic considering my no commitment rule.

We walk back over just as Tonya is scheduling them in her phone. “You ladies come in next week, and I’ll get with my design staff for a photo shoot.”

Tonya turns her attention on us. “Harvey, go with him,” she says, jerking her head in my direction. “Make sure he plays nice. And take some candid photos.”

Harvey looks ecstatic at the prospect of babysitting me and taking my picture, since he knows it’ll annoy me to no end. “Yes, ma’am.”

“The ladies have already signed an NDA,” she says, holding up her phone for me to see before arching a brow at me. “And if I see one damn scowl in those pictures, I will literally put your face on a billboard,” she threatens.

She’ll do it, too.

“I’ll make sure he has fun and does all the good bachelor dating stuff,” Trix offers.

Tonya beams at her. “You’re just a treasure. Okay, gotta run. Have fun!”

She strides away without another word, already with her phone to her ear again.

“Ladies…” Harvey says holding out his arm. “Shall we?”

The three of them start walking away, leaving me to grumble behind them, my head spinning and my attitude dropping.