I’m leaving.
This world, it doesn’t belong to me. I’m simply passing through, lucky enough to have this short reprieve with the living.
But I’m not meant to have love. I’m meant to give it.
And that...that’s the most heartbreaking truth of my entire existence. That’s the danger I never considered. I was so wrapped up in fixing my own cupidity and in matching other people’s hearts, that I didn’t acknowledge I had a heart of my own.
Suddenly filled with sadness, I scoot over and gently rest my head on his shoulder, because even though he’s right here next to me, I miss him. I haven’t felt the imminence of my ticking clock as much as I feel it right now.
He goes rigid for a moment as I rest against him, until he relaxes with a sigh, my name passing through his lips like a prayer.
I breathe in this moment, because I know it’s fleeting, and I know I don’t have much longer.
“You’re a good man, Warren Knight,” I tell him.
He shakes his head at me, but then he lifts his arm and settles it behind my back so he can pull me in closer, and I relish in the touch. Unlike with Sparrow, this feels right. It feels perfect.
A contented sigh spills out of me as I let my eyes flutter closed. “I wish I could stay here,”
I hear myself saying quietly. “I wish I could stay with you. But I can’t.”
All-encompassing sadness seeps into me just as exhaustion decides to pull me under. Right before I drop off to sleep, I swear I feel his lips on my hair at the same time that a tear falls from my eye.
Chapter 20
Trix
I have a major sense of déjà vu when I wake up once again in Warren Knight’s bed.
But this time, instead of him getting mad and bailing, he comes in and places some clothes on the bed right alongside a tray of breakfast.
I sit up, grateful that I feel like myself again. My hair smells like smoke, and I have a headache from all the alcohol I consumed, but other than that, I feel good. At least my brain stopped tingling.
“Go ahead and eat, and there’s some aspirin for your head if you need it,” Warren tells me. “You’re welcome to shower and get ready. We need to leave in about an hour.”
I tilt my head curiously as I reach out and start guzzling the orange juice on the breakfast tray. “Where are we going?” I ask after a hearty gulp.
“You’re supposed to meet with Tonya today to take photos for the marketing campaign that you agreed to, remember?”
“I forgot about that. I better remind Blue.”
Warren shakes his head. “Harvey is already bringing her in.”
“Oh, okay.”
An awkward silence stretches between us as we look at each other.
Emotions swirl under my skin. Somewhere in all the time I spent watching Warren, I went past infatuation and straight into catching feelings without even realizing it. Seems silly that love is literally my job, and yet I didn’t even recognize it in myself.
I glance nervously at Warren, wishing more than ever that I could know what he’s thinking as he looks steadily back at me.
“You could’ve gotten really hurt last night,” he finally says.
There’s no anger in his face anymore, just stoicism.
“I know. I’m sorry that you have to keep saving my ass like that. I’m not used to…” My words trail off.
“Not used to what?”