Speak Low (Speak Easy 2)

“And your feet are so small,” he went on, holding up his hand to compare the size. “Do you have to shop for shoes at a children’s store?”

I pulled my foot from his hands and kicked water at him. “Still with the jokes about my size? Are you ever going to let me be?”

Joey laughed deep and loud, the sound echoing off the black and white tiles. “I’m sorry, I’ll be nice.” He fished underwater for my foot again. “Let me have it back.”

I let him, and he brought it to his lips and kissed it. “I love your toes.” He sucked on each one, sending a frisson of delight up my leg. “I love every perfect part of you. Except maybe your temper.”

I sat up and pushed a huge wall of water at him, which soaked his face and splashed over the edge of the tub. Sputtering with laughter, he wiped his eyes and grabbed for me. “You got water in my mouth!”

“Serves you right.”

Grinning, he got me by the arms and traded places with me, pulling me against him, stomach to stomach. His skin on mine felt so warm, so good, it melted every other feeling but contentment. I kissed his collarbone and rested my head there, tracing the letters of my name on his chest with one finger. His arms wrapped around me, and I closed my eyes. We were back to our comfortable silences.

But in a moment, icy fingers of fear crept beneath the warmth. How could I let him do something I knew might get him arrested or killed?

“Joey, please don’t do it.” The words slipped out before I had an argument prepared.

He said nothing.

“Don’t. Please. I’m scared.”

“I have to, Tiny. I have to do it—I promised myself.”

“But things are different now.”

“Between you and me they are. But that situation hasn’t changed.” His voice had a harder edge to it than I’d heard all night.

“If you kill that man, Joey—”

“When I kill him.”

I picked my head up. He looked at me, but his eyes were cool. “You’re scaring me.”

“This is who I am, Tiny. This is part of me.”

“That’s not true—what you are is not what you do. You’re so much more than that.”

He was silent a moment, staring into the water. “If you think I can let this go, you don’t know me very well.”

“But I do! I do know you well.” Agitated, I got to my knees between his legs. “I know you love your family more than anything in the world, and I know you would do anything for them. I love that about you.” Taking his hands in mine, I squeezed them tight. “And I know you were hurt when your father died, but—”

“I was in the car. Did you know that?”

Confused, I just looked at him.

“I was in the car waiting when my father came out of the station.”

“Oh, honey.” My heart broke for him.

“I heard those bastards come around the corner and start firing. I heard my pop yell for me to get down, and you know what I did? I fucking ducked. I covered my head and ducked down below the window like a frightened kid.”

“You were scared! Anyone would’ve been scared. And you did what your father wanted you to do—you stayed safe!”

He shook his head, his jaw protruding. “His gun was on the seat. I could’ve grabbed it then. I could’ve shot back. I could’ve done something. But I didn’t.”

“You might have been killed yourself, Joey!” Slamming my eyes shut, I lowered my chin, my lower lip trembling. “Is this how it’s always going to be?”

“I promised myself. I promised myself that day that I would never be a coward again. That I would stand up for myself and my family the way he would have. I can’t let it go.”