“No, but—”
“You want to keep living with your father and sisters?”
“Definitely not.”
“You didn’t enjoy yourself in the pantry—I’m sorry, pantries?”
My cheeks flushed. “I did, but—”
“Then say yes! You’re killing me.” The look in his eyes was equal parts love and torture. God, he was so handsome. And strong and sexy and loyal and hard-working and funny and sweet and smart.
He adored me. I adored him.
I chewed my lip. “I want to, Joey. I want to say yes.”
“Then say yes.
Vince always said we’d end up together.”
A rueful smile stretched my lips. “I heard.”
Yes was on the tip of my tongue.
He’d be a great father someday.
Our own apartment.
And the cooking. My God, the cooking.
But then I thought about other things. Guns. Bullets. Coffins.
Vince was hardly older than Joey was now when he was killed.
I took a breath. “I have to think about it.” At his devastated face, my heart ached. “It’s not that I don’t want to marry you, Joey.” The words marry you made my stomach flip.
“But you’re not ready? You think you’re too young?”
“Not exactly. I mean, yes, we’re young, but my parents were young. Bridget and Vince were young.”
“Then what? You think I don’t love you enough?” he went on, getting more worked up. “Because I do—I love that you’ve spent your life taking care of your family. I love that you were willing to risk your life to keep them safe. I love how smart you are, how brave you are, how beautiful you are. I love that you want to get out and see the world—I do too. You want to go to school? I’ll find a way to pay for it. I love that you want to be a nurse.”
“Joey—”
“Let me finish. I love that you can’t reach the high shelf in the pantry. I love that you can’t cook worth a damn. I love the expression on your face when I catch you staring at me. And I love the way you came here tonight, ready to fight for me. Now I’ll fight for you.” He kissed my lips. “Say yes.”
My throat was so full. “I can’t.”
His face fell. It hurt me not to give him the answer he wanted, but I didn’t want to end up like my sister, widowed at twenty-three with three children.
“Look at Bridget, Joey,” I said softly. “She asked Vince to do something else with his life, but he wouldn’t. He said nothing would happen to him.”
“When you came here tonight, you knew all this about me,” he said sadly. “And yet you still came.”
“I couldn’t stay away.” Of that I was positive.
“And we haven’t been careful tonight.”
I grimaced. “No, we haven’t.”