Strong Enough

“Good. You scared me for a second. I can only take one narrow-minded relative. Anyway, I better go. I still have a shit ton of inventory to do.”

“Okay.”

“Hey, what are you guys doing tonight? I’m off. Want to see a movie or something?”

“Uh, no. I mean, I can’t. Maybe Maxim would like to.” His name felt different on my lips.

“Why can’t you?”

“I’m having friends over for dinner.”

“Whatcha making?”

“Roasted chicken and vegetables.” Which I was supposed to be shopping for, so I could get the fuck home and make it, but I was still anchored to my spot by the potatoes.

“Yum! Got room for one more?”

“Sure,” I said absentmindedly.

“Great! What time should I come over?”

“Uh, seven is good.”

“Perfect. Gives me time to go home and clean up. Who else is coming?”

I forced myself to start walking again, focus on the task at hand. Chicken. I need a chicken. “Um, Gage and Lanie. Carolyn.”

“Ooh, is that the girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend. She’s just—someone I’m seeing.”

“Well, whatever. You’ve mentioned her, and I’ve been hoping to meet her. I’ll see you tonight!”

“Okay. Bye.” I ended the call and brought up my grocery list so I could finish shopping, but I found myself having to look at it again and again, my mind was so preoccupied with what Ellen had told me.

Maxim was gay?

If I’d made any peace at all with his presence in my house for the next two weeks, it was all undone by that news.

Was it true? Did it even matter?

Hell yes it did. My attraction to him suddenly felt a thousand times more dangerous, now that I knew it was possible it could be reciprocated.

And was it? Was Maxim attracted to me? I replayed last night and today in my head, looking for a telltale sign—a word, a touch, a look—something that would give him away, but I came up with nothing. Maybe it was because he felt nothing. Maybe it was because he was Russian and had that detached face mastered. Or maybe it was because I’d been so obsessed with my own feelings, constantly focused inward on what he did to me, that I could find no evidence I’d captured his attention like he’d captured mine.

For a split second, I was disappointed.

What the hell, asshole? That’s a good thing. The last thing you need is for him to be interested in you. You don’t want it. You can’t want it. It’s wrong. Nothing is going to happen.

I took a few deep breaths and repeated the words in my head.

Nothing is going to happen.

Twelve

MAXIM

I saw him.