That First Special Kiss

“And what did you want?”

“My career. It’s all that ever really mattered to me.”

At least she couldn’t accuse him of not being honest with her. “Why did you want to meet with me today?”

“Two reasons. I wanted to make sure for myself that you’re okay. And I promised my fiancée that I would meet with you.”

“Your fiancée?” Kelly repeated weakly.

“Her name is Evelyn Dobson. She works for the American Embassy in Italy. We’re getting married next month.”

“Congratulations,” she said dryly. “Why did your fiancée want you to meet with me?”

“When I told her I have a daughter I haven’t seen in sixteen years, she said she didn’t want to begin our marriage with that uncertainty hanging over us. She thought it best if I found out where you were living and how you were getting along. Whether you needed anything from me.”

“In other words, she didn’t want me showing up out of the blue to make demands on you, right?”

“That’s one way of putting it, I guess.” Jack seemed to accept that Kelly didn’t want any sugarcoated answers. “She’s never had any children of her own. She’s forty-five and isn’t prepared to fill the role of stepmother—or stepgrandmother.”

“She needn’t worry about either possibility,” Kelly assured him coolly. “I’m not interested in having a stepmother at this point. I have no children, but if I ever do, I will be prepared to provide for them myself—just as my mother did for me. I have a career, a home, friends and a close, honorary family here in Dallas. I’ve gotten along very well without you so far, Colonel, and you can assure your fiancee that I will continue to do so.”

“This isn’t the way I’d hoped our reunion would go.” There was genuine regret in his voice.

“You mean you didn’t want honesty? You wanted me to throw myself in your arms and tell you I forgive you for deserting me? You wanted to pat me on the head the way you did when I was eight, and then leave me hoping you’ll contact me again someday? You were hoping you wouldn’t have to tell me the truth about why you initiated this meeting?”

“I’m not sure what I wanted,” Jack replied. “But this wasn’t it.”

“Forgive me if I gave up on my fantasies about you at my mother’s funeral.” She had no intention of telling him about the futile hopes she’d clung to until her high school graduation.

“I’m sorry, Kelly. You deserved better.”

“Yes,” she answered quietly. “I did. And I’m very angry with you for denying me the childhood I dreamed about when I was a lonely little girl. But if it makes you feel any better, I don’t hate you. I can let the anger go. I wish you the best in your marriage and hope you’re very happy. I won?

?t be asking you for anything in the future, or anticipating anything more than I’ve ever gotten from you.”

“Under the circumstances, I suppose that’s more than I should have expected from you.”

She studied him across the table. “Look at it this way—were you really prepared to be a father at this point? Would you have hired someone to find me if your fiancée hadn’t asked you to?”

He hesitated long enough that she had her answer. “That’s what I thought,” she said.

He searched her face with a thoughtful expression. “If it matters to you—I’m very proud of you. You’ve succeeded against very stiff odds, and with very little help from anyone apparently. That took a lot of courage, a great deal of determination. I’d like to think you got some of that drive from me.”

“I think most of it came from my mother,” she countered frankly. “She was a very strong and self-sufficient woman.”

“Yes, she was.”

“Will you answer one question for me?”

He nodded. “Of course.”

“Did you ever love my mother?”

“In my own way,” be answered wryly. “Just as I love you, though not the way I’m sure you would choose to be loved by your father.”

“And Evelyn? Do you love her?”

There was a pause before he answered. “Evelyn and I are well suited. We expect to spend our retirement years very comfortably together.”