“It occurred to me that this could be your way of trying to really make me mad. You’ve seemed to want me to lose my temper.”
“No.” She was appalled that he could think that was the primary reason for this outing—to spur Shane into finally, completely opening up with her. That was ridiculous—wasn’ t it? “I got into this as a favor to Brynn. I didn’t know how to refuse without...without...”
“Without telling her the truth? That you and I are together now and that you aren’t interested in going out with other men? Or is that the truth?”
“Shane, don’t...”
“I hope it doesn’t disappoint you if I tell you I’m not really mad. And, no, I’m not repressing my anger or pretending to be cool when I’m not, or anything like that. I hate it that you’re spending the evening with another guy. I mean, I really hate it, but I sort of understand why you’re doing it. You’re scared. You’re confused. And maybe I haven’t done enough to reassure you that everything’s going to be okay.”
She blinked. “I don’t...”
“Like an idiot, I’ve expected you to know without me telling you that this isn’t a passing fling for me. Maybe I thought you could read my mind and understand that I didn’t think there would be a problem with my family because I didn’t believe there would ever be a serious problem between us. I had no intention of ever letting you go once I convinced you we belonged together.”
A sizable lump had formed in Kelly’s throat during Shane’s quiet speech. She tried to speak around it. “I didn’t know...”
“Of course you didn’t know. I didn’t tell you, did I? Maybe I thought you understood—or maybe I was a coward, too afraid of rejection to risk revealing my feelings. But, just so you have no lingering doubts, I love you, Kelly. I think I have for a very long time, maybe since the first time we met.”
Her heart convulsed. Of all the things she had thought Shane might say when she’d recognized his voice on the phone, this wasn’t one of them. He loved her? Why was he telling her this now? It wasn’t something he would say just because she was about to leave on a date with another man, was it? Surely he didn’t think her date with Steve was a ploy to make Shane jealous, or anything so shallow and stupid.
Yet...was it possible that he really meant it? “Shane, I...”
He didn’t seem to expect a reply from her at the moment. “If you want me to keep it a secret until I’ve convinced you of my feelings, I will. I’ll bite my tongue until it bleeds if I have to, but no one will know until you’re ready—except my father, who has already guessed. It won’t be easy, because what I really want to do is yell to the world that I am hat-over-boots in love with beautiful, sexy, smart Kelly Morrison—but you can trust me to keep it secret until you have faith in me, even if it takes the rest of my life to prove it to you.”
Tears were rolling down her face now, ruining the makeup she had applied so carefully for this date she didn’t want. “Shane...”
“Think about what I said while you’re out with that guy tonight, okay? And call me if you want to give it another try. I love you, Kelly.”
He hung up before she could whisper his name again.
Kelly had a completely miserable evening. She tried her best to hide it; to do otherwise would have been unforgivably rude to Dr. Steve Carter, who was making a real effort to entertain her. But his jokes weren’t as funny as Shane’s, and he didn’t quite understand her feeble attempts at humor. He didn’t like the music, books or movies she liked. He seemed to enjoy the staid, formal hospital reception, while Kelly found it terribly dull.
All in all, it wasn’t a very successful first date. And Kelly was well aware that the main reason she had such a lousy time was because she wasn’t with Shane. Shane, who had said he loved her. Shane, whom she loved so desperately in return.
It was still early when the reception ended. Steve and Kelly left the room arm in arm, probably looking like a very nice couple. Kelly felt like such a fraud. But it was immediately apparent that all her efforts to pretend to enjoy herself hadn’t fooled her companion.
“I was going to suggest we go out for drinks or something after the reception, but I think you’d rather I take you home now,” he said when they were in his car again.
She looked at him in guilt-stricken apology. “I’m sorry, Steve. I hope I haven’t hurt your feelings. It’s just...tonight is not a good time for me.”
“You’re in love with someone else, right?”
Kelly stared at him, stunned to hear those words from a near stranger.
He gave a rueful shrug. “Trust me, I know the look. It’s sort of the story of my life.”
“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I’m sure I would have had a very nice time tonight, if I hadn’t been so distracted with a personal problem. It would have been more fair to you if I’d made an excuse not to come.”
He smiled wryly and started the car. “I have a feeling your friend Brynn had a lot to do with that. She can be quite... persuasive.”
“Don’t tell me she pressured you into this, too,” Kelly said with a groan and a blush of embarrassment.
“I wasn’t exactly an unwilling participant. I enjoyed visiting with you at the charity dance. I thought we could have a nice evening.”
Her guilt immediately doubled. “I’m sorry to have disappointed you.”
The smile he gave her was quite charming, though it didn’t have at all the same effect on her that Shane’s sexy, dimpled grins always had. “You didn’t disappoint me at all,” he assured her.
He really was a very nice guy, even if there was no chance she would ever see him—or any other man besides Shane—as more than a friend. She studied him as they drove out of the parking lot, thinking of someone who could appreciate him much more. “Did Heather Pearson give you her telephone number, by any chance?”