He didn’t contradict her. Neither did he look particularly regretful about it. Was he a man who preferred being alone, not held down by family ties? If so, what effect would that have on his relationship, if any, with his son?
“Why did you go with us this evening, Adam?” she asked, wanting to at least try to understand what he was thinking. “If you aren’t even sure you want to acknowledge your relationship to Simon, why did you want to spend those hours with him?”
He scowled, drawing back slightly as though in self-defense. “He caught me off guard. I didn’t know how to say no without hurting his feelings.”
&nb
sp; “You could have made up an excuse.”
His frown deepening, Adam shook his head. “I’m not going to lie to him.”
Only by omission, she added silently, but decided it wasn’t the right time to challenge him. Probably the deception bothered her more than Adam because she knew Simon so much better. It was only natural that she felt protective.
Adam made a muffled sound as though he’d somehow sensed her thought, or perhaps shared it. “Trevor said I was trying on fatherhood for size tonight. I told him it wasn’t like that.”
She bit her lip for a moment, then asked quietly, “But was he wrong?”
He shifted awkwardly. “I guess I just wanted to get to know Simon a little. He’s a special kid, JoJo. You’ve done a great job with him.”
There was no reason for the praise to bring tears to her eyes, but still she found herself blinking rapidly and clearing her throat before she could speak. “Thank you.”
“It doesn’t surprise me, of course. I suspected when I met you that you were the type.”
She felt her eyebrows rise. “The type?”
He shrugged. “You know. Home. Family. Stability. I knew from a few things you let slip that our weekend together was out of character for you. We weren’t looking for anything more than a bit of fun for a few days, but I figured even then that you’d want more from someone someday. I didn’t mean to screw that up for you.”
She shuffled her feet, uncomfortable with his comments. “Like I said, I wouldn’t trade Simon for anything. I’m not so sure I’m all that domestic, anyway. I think of myself more as a working single mother.”
“Who’s going to take care of Simon when you’re working in Seattle?”
She supposed the slight note of concern she heard in his voice was understandable. She spoke reassuringly. “He’ll start first grade in the fall, and when he’s not in school, I’ll hire a nanny. I’ve already gotten a few recommendations from associates I’ll be working with there. You needn’t worry. My responsibilities to Simon will always take priority over my career or any other part of my life.”
He turned his head to look at her then. “I don’t doubt that. It was just a question.”
Had she sounded defensive? Probably. She dealt with the same qualms and insecurities any working mother faced, perhaps especially any single working mother.
Adam looked away again, his profile stark in the pale light. “I can count on both hands the number of times I saw my dad while I was growing up. Sometimes I wondered if he even remembered he had a son when he wasn’t around. My mom had issues of her own, so I was pretty much raised by her mother, my Grams. By the time I was seventeen, I was on my own. I kicked around a while, somehow finished high school, joined the army. With Trevor’s encouragement, I’ve taken a few college business classes since I started working here, but I’m no academic. Never will be.”
Apparently she wasn’t the only one dealing with insecurities. This was the most he’d told her about his childhood, and it didn’t sound like a particularly happy one.
“Not everyone is cut out for academia,” she said, trying to speak lightly. “There have been plenty of times when I wondered if I was. I don’t care for the politics or the archaic expectations, but I love my work, so I accept the trade-off.”
“What I’m trying to say is, I don’t know anything about being a father. Never really thought I’d be one—and for sure not the occasional pop-in one like my own. A kid like Simon—smart, eager, outgoing—well, he deserves more than I had.”
She couldn’t disagree with him on that. Simon did deserve more than a father who was so stingy with his attention that his son wondered if he even remembered him. She couldn’t imagine Adam would become that type of parent, especially considering how disapproving he sounded about his own father’s behavior—but did she know him well enough to be sure?
Just because he’d walked out without a goodbye after their casual weekend together didn’t mean he would do the same with his son. Right? But she couldn’t help worrying; worry seemed to come with the territory when it came to child rearing.
She wasn’t sure how Adam interpreted her silence, but he sighed and turned to trace a fingertip along her jaw. “Don’t frown, JoJo. We’ll work something out. Whatever happens, thanks for letting me tag along this evening. I had a good time.”
Her nerve endings tingled in the wake of his touch. Her voice was barely louder than a whisper when she said, “I had fun, too.”
His other hand rose so that he cupped her face between his palms. She couldn’t see his eyes clearly in the shadows, but she could tell he focused on her mouth. She felt her lips part as she drew in a shaky breath.
His thumbs rotated lazily against her cheeks. “We had a lot of fun together before, didn’t we?”
“We did,” she agreed, resting her hands on his chest. She could feel his heart beating through his shirt. Strong, steady—maybe a little faster than usual? She knew her own was racing.