It was working, sort of. Farrah seemed more relaxed than she had during their walkthrough, but he hadn’t succeeded in getting her to talk about anything except work—yet. The day was still young.
“Thank God.” Farrah scratched something out on her notepad. “So, design two, no shark tank?”
“Yep.” Honestly, Blake liked all the sketches and had chosen one at random. He trusted she knew what she was doing. “Okay
. That’s it for work today. What do you say we take a walk?”
Farrah slanted him a sharp glance. “I have to get started on the next phase of the project.”
“Right now? At this very moment? Come on, it’s Friday afternoon,” he cajoled. “Look at this weather! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the—”
“Joshua, Peter, if you don’t stop that this instant, you’re grounded for the next two weeks!” a woman screamed as a young dark-haired boy head-butted his twin. His brother pushed him in response, and the two fell to the ground, wrestling.
Their mother stormed over with fire in her eyes. “Have kids, they said. It’ll be so rewarding, they said,” she muttered loud enough for Blake and Farrah to hear.
“The kids are out in full force.” Farrah completed Blake’s sentence. Her eyes twinkled with amusement.
“Yep.” Darkness swirled in his chest as he watched the kids wrestle. The pain wasn’t as sharp as it used to be whenever he saw children, but now and then, he wondered what his life would be like had things with Cleo worked out. Would they have been happy? Would he have enjoyed fatherhood, or would it have felt like a noose, constricting around his neck until he couldn’t breathe?
Questions he’d never have the answers to.
Blake shoved the insidious whispers of guilt aside and flashed a charming smile. “So, how about that walk? According to my trusty mental map, it’s well within the boundaries.”
“I guess I could go for a walk,” Farrah said reluctantly. “It is a beautiful day.”
Success.
Farrah was ice, but he was fire, melting her down inch by inch. Blake had a lot of things to atone for. She thought he’d played her in Shanghai, and he was tempted to let her continue thinking that. It was, in his mind, more palatable than the truth, which was that he was a fucked-up human being. A part of him wondered if he should even pursue Farrah again.
She was too pure, and he was too broken. The world saw a businessman with a perfect smile and perfect life, but the image Blake presented concealed the jagged shards and haunting thoughts inside. It was a side of him he’d never let Farrah see, not only because he didn’t want to drag her into his spiral of shame and regret, but because he was afraid she’d take one look at the chaos and run the hell away.
If Blake were a good person, he would leave Farrah alone so she could move on with someone more deserving. But he was a selfish bastard, and now that she was in his life again, he couldn’t let her go. She was the light to his darkness, the angel to his demons, and his only excuse for trying to crawl back into her heart was that he loved her.
Even after all these years.
Even after all that had happened.
Their elbows brushed as they left Bethesda Terrace. Tingles shot through Blake’s arm, chasing away his doubts, at least for the time being.
“Have you been to the Ravine and Loch?” he asked.
Central Park was one of Blake’s favorite places in the city. It covered over 800 acres, but most people flocked to the popular spots: Bethesda, Sheep’s Meadow, Bow Bridge. He preferred the hidden gems, the quiet spots that surprised you with their beauty if you were lucky enough to stumble upon them.
“Nope.” Farrah munched on her lower lip. “I don’t come here often. I usually stick to downtown.”
“Hmm. One of those.”
She side-eyed him. “What do you mean, one of those?”
“People who think downtown is the only part of Manhattan worth visiting.”
“Uh, yeah, it’s the best part of the city. Midtown is the worst and uptown is boring.”
“Downtown snob.”
“You live in the West Village!”
“True, but I regularly venture past 23rd Street. Downtown is great, but there’s cool stuff up here too.”