For a man who’d hidden who he was all his life, Colt didn’t hesitate to take Jace’s hand, wrap an arm around his waist, or give him a simple peck in public. Colt wore his ball cap and sunglasses, but in his master plan, he wanted them out, around people, acting like a couple. At least while they were on this island. He wanted to give Jace as many moments like this as possible to help make up for all his mistakes in the past. Jace went along with it, never questioning him or denying a touch. After a bit, Jace even initiated some handholding, and in those moments, Colt felt like the king of the world, even getting cocky when they passed people. Jace belonged to him and no one else.
They developed a balance between them. Colt was thankful Jace seemed just as eager to make this happen as he did. Neither of them spoke of the past, although the pain of their lives was still there between them every single time Colt’s phone vibrated uncontrollably. The tension of the missed calls weighed between them. After about the first two dozen times, Colt finally got the clue and turned the phone off.
“You’re completely on the wagon?” Jace asked, washing the vegetables at the sink as Colt shelled all the shrimp, standing right beside him. As dusk fell outside, Colt had piled all the drift wood and discarded wood from the house into a pit, ready for a fire. Lounge chairs were in place, bottles of water, tea, and guava juice chilled.
“I haven’t had a drink in ten months. I haven’t even wanted one since I got here,” Colt said.
“I’m proud of you. That’s a big deal,” Jace said, looking over and bumping Colt in the shoulder.
“It’s day by day, but you help more than you know.” Colt leaned in, puckering his lips. Jace didn’t deny him and kissed him quickly.
“You should call whoever keeps calling you,” Jace urged, still looking at Colt. His face changed some. Colt couldn’t be sure, but he thought he may have seen one of those protective walls sliding in place, surrounding Jace. He didn’t like what he saw, and tried for funny, to ease the tension away.
“Yeah, and you need to bend over like you did on the roof today. Damn that ass of yours.” Colt waggled his eyebrows and bumped Jace in the shoulder.
“I’m serious, Colt. You need to deal with them before too much more happens here,” Jace said, his tone serious. Colt could tell Jace didn’t want to be a downer, but the nagging doubt was there. Jace wore the concern in his eyes. Colt pushed Jace so hard to commit, but the big elephant in the room was the man who drove them apart last time. Colt had to deal with him to prove to Jace he was past his father. Overall, the logic made sense, but damn that call would suck to make.
“I deserve that. Only time’s gonna show you that what you’re thinking about me’s wrong.”
“Then deal with the rest of them. Come to me open and honest,” Jace said quietly, his eyes were on his hands as he washed vegetables he’d already washed. They still worked at the sink, but those walls Colt had speculated on were now solidly between them, and Colt didn’t like that one bit.
“Babe, don’t do this,” Colt started but Jace cut him off.
“Part of me wants to take you for however long you plan to stay. I like you here. I feel more alive than I have in a long time. I’ve been lonely for you. I just know what it’s like to have to deal with a heart broken by you…” Jace said quietly, looking over at Colt with deep, unguarded pain in his eyes. God, he hated that look.
“All right, I’ll take care of it right now. I need some privacy. I’m not hiding anything from you; they’re just really crappy people. I don’t want that around you.” Colt moved the seafood and washed his hands in the sink, thinking over his best approach with his father. Not one scenario he ran through his mind played out without a god-awful, ugly scene.
“Colt, you treat me like I’m in a bubble…” Jace started, but Colt cut him off. He wanted a new life with Jace, but he was well aware his old life needed to be laid to rest first. He had tried hard to set everything in motion.
“I’m serious, Jace. Please, just let me do this alone. I’ll meet you outside, okay?” Colt asked, drying his hands with a dish towel. He was steeling his spine, taking the final steps to becoming the man he truly wanted to be.
“Okay.” Jace gathered their things, dumped all the food in the big pot of water sitting in the kitchen sink then turned to leave the kitchen.
“Please, don’t be mad,” Colt pleaded, reaching out to grasp Jace’s arm, stopping him from leaving the kitchen.
“I’m not,” Jace said, but Colt didn’t believe him.
“Then don’t act like you’re pissed at me. It scares me. It won’t take me long.” Colt stepped in closer, releasing his arm. “Please, I need to do this alone. Do you think you can start the water boiling?” Colt asked with only inches separating their faces. Jace nodded, worry in his eyes, and Colt kissed him. “I love you, Jace.”
“I love you, too.”
Jace said the words he needed to hear most. Those words buoyed him, gave him strength, and Colt kissed him, again. Jace left the kitchen, and Colt tracked him until he was out the door, walking to the fire pit. Colt shut the big sliding doors and palmed his phone, dialing. He could feel his facial features hardening as the phone began to ring. Colt kept his eyes on Jace to give him perspective as his father answered the phone.
“You’re a goddamn pussy, leaving me here to clean up your motherfucking mess like always.” Those were the first words out of Larry Michaels’s mouth when he answered Colt’s call. Did no one say hello anymore?