“This right here, what we’re doing now. You here with me, lying in my arms, I like sleeping like this with you.”
“Hmm… I like it too.” He stayed like he was, not moving, his head on the warm pillow of Colt’s chest, breathing in his scent. Colt made sweat smell so sexy. Self-preservation had Jace finally bridging some of the gaps they hadn’t discussed. He turned his head and placed a simple kiss on Colt’s chest, flicking his tongue across the damp skin before laying his head back down. “What’s going to happen now? There was so much coverage about your wedding. It’s not gonna just die down if people are poking around to see what happened.”
“I honestly don’t know. Maryia signed the agreement so she has to stay quiet to get the payments over the next five years. If she doesn’t, everything’s coming back to me. She might sell me out, get a better payday, but I doubt it. The team’s publicity people are coming up with something to say. Hell, they might have already said something, I don’t know. You’re tired, Jace, we need to sleep. I kept you up all night.” Colt reached down, placing a kiss on the top of his head, hugging him tighter to his body.
“I will,” Jace said, turning his head again to press a small kiss on Colt’s chest, close to his heart. Something wasn’t sitting exactly right with him. He couldn’t quite place it, but it kept him from sleep now that he’d started down this road. After a minute more, Jace finally asked the million dollar question, the one he’d avoided from the beginning. “What’s our future, Colt?”
“Forever, I hope,” Colt replied instantly. Jace lifted his head at the answer, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He kissed Colt, who kissed him back lightly on the lips, before giving a giant yawn.
“I meant more immediate. What’re our next few steps?” Jace laid his head back down, listening to the beating of Colt’s heart.
“Well, I guess off the top of my head, I’m thinking I have about five years left in the NFL. And if we could just keep this on the down low for a little while, I can finish up my career. I need to recover some financially, so I’m guessing I should probably take every endorsement deal I can get. Maybe we could live together in Texas while I’m in off season? We would have to be careful. I could probably buy a few hundred acres out somewhere like in Anna or Melissa, or maybe down around Cleburne, but that would mean you’d have to drive in to work every day. Whatever, we can figure it out and be discreet. No one really recognizes me unless I’m in New York. I’ll live there during the season until I can retire. Hey, that’s a pretty good plan for just off the cuff!” Jace’s eyes closed as he listened to Colt. His heart ached with each of the words he heard, but he tried hard to keep a level head, thinking through everything carefully.
“So you’re saying we wouldn’t be a real couple for a few years?” Jace asked several minutes later.
“No, I’m saying we’re a couple, but just hiding us a little longer. I don’t wanna be with anyone else, and I sure as hell don’t want you to be with anyone else. It’s just I think the NFL will cut me. I’ll be targeted or benched, and they’ll find a way out of my contract if I come out right now. I’ve caused them a lot of bullshit over the years.” Colt wrapped Jace snugger in his arms, and Jace let Colt pull him against his warmth. He made no move to leave the embrace.
“Why are you quiet?” Colt asked.
“Just thinking everything over,” Jace answered, hurt and maybe a little surprised at Colt’s plan. He’d hoped after everything they’d been through, Colt would come out and stop all his hiding. It didn’t seem too much to ask, especially with how out they had been around the island. The ins and outs of the plan kept circling around in Jace’s mind. Colt kissed the top of his head, but he didn’t rise to meet the kiss this time.
“I love you,” Colt whispered.
“I love you, too,” Jace replied, hoping he hid the ache clouding his heart.
“Then lift up and give me a kiss.” Jace schooled his features and did as Colt requested. Colt kept him there with a finger tucked under his chin, his gaze penetrating his soul. He reeled from the pain of hearing Colt’s plan for their future. His heart couldn’t take this. As he stared back at Colt, he realized they weren’t really getting back together. They were just another island fling, and somehow he’d known this from the beginning, even if Colt hadn’t. Jace felt his eyes tearing up so he forced the kiss and lay back down.
“It’s gonna be hard to spend all that time away from you during football season. If we make the playoffs, it’s gonna be like seven months out of the year,” Colt said and gave a jaw cracking yawn. Jace didn’t move, didn’t want Colt to know how badly he’d hurt him again. He rubbed his eyes and faked a yawn, trying to keep the tears from rolling down his cheeks as Colt’s words replayed in his head.
“Maybe we can arrange a weekend here or there so you don’t look for someone to fill my cleats while I’m gone.” Jace never said another word as he listened to Colt slowly fall asleep. The pit in his stomach grew with each passing minute. The reality of their relationship wasn’t any different than before, except now Colt wanted him to be his regular fuck buddy. They wouldn’t be together seven months out of every year. The other five months, Colt would have Jace hidden away from the world. No dating, no dinners, Colt could never be seen in the gym or at any of his competitions.