“What’s this then?” Colt motioned to the baked potato on his plate.
“A baked potato filled with artery clogging butter, cheddar cheese, and full-fat sour cream doesn’t fall anywhere near the vegetable category. And please don’t start on how since the cow eats vegan, it makes the meat vegan,” Jace said, turning to Cody now. “He actually argued that point with me once.” Jace took a big bite of broccoli. Kreed looked over to see Mitch enjoying the show as much as he was.
“Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny. Are you finished?” Colt asked, playfully tossing a roll across the table at Jace.
“No.” Jace chewed quickly, lifting a finger for everyone to wait. Once he swallowed and took a small sip of water, he continued, “So I keep telling Colt to pick out his funeral plot and make the arrangements before it’s too late and the arteries in his chest become solid. Now, I’m finished,” Jace said, laughing at his own joke, clearly one that Colt had heard before.
“You aren’t getting rid of me for a very long time, so stop planning your single life,” Colt added. Kreed got the distinct impression from the way those two were looking at each other, if they were seated closer together, they’d be kissing right now.
“I’ve had to sit through this for the last year. Normally they have these little spats then they make out until I’m the only one left in the living room,” Mitch spoke directly to Kreed. “Oh shit, that reminds me. I have a gift for them.”
“Not now,” Cody said, shaking his head. As Mitch started to rise, Cody reached for his thigh, but his partner blocked the move.
Mitch was up and out of his chair, almost halfway across the room when he called out, “Don’t tell them, Cody. It’s a surprise! I’ll be right back.” Mitch was off; he took the staircase up, two at a time.
“I’m sorry in advance,” Cody apologized to Jace.
“Here, Aaron. Try these. Show Colt they’re good.” Kreed handed a tray of roasted Brussel sprouts and broccoli florets to Aaron, who eagerly took two large spoonfuls.
“Here, Aaron. Try these. Show Jace they’re better,” Colt said, handing Aaron a bowl of sautéed mushrooms.”
“Thank you.” Aaron had kept completely quiet after initiating the round of banter between their hosts, but he looked up, a little startled, and took the bowl Colt held out to him. Then he spooned the mushrooms onto his plate.
“Aaron, there’s easily a pound of butter in there. I’d be fearful for my arteries if I were you,” Jace cautioned. Kreed laughed at Aaron’s hesitancy, because seriously, Jace and Colt never gave in. Over time, Kreed could see Aaron easily fitting with these people who seemed to be consumed by the food they ate. He had to hold back his laughter as Aaron looked torn whether to eat the mushrooms since both Colt and Jace were now watching him expectantly. Aaron finally caved and took only a couple of mushrooms from the offered plate.
By then, Mitch had bounded back down the stairs with all the grace of a herd of elephants. Kreed watched Cody, whose face was already tinting a deep shade of red. He began fidgeting in his chair until he completely stopped eating and pushed his almost-full plate out of the way. Based on Cody’s size, he clearly didn’t miss too many meals. Man, the gift must be something really good.
“Here, buddy. I saw this in New York and figured I should bring you two a thank-you gift for taking us in,” Mitch said proudly, handing Colt the gift bag before rounding to his side of the table.
Cody’s elbows went to the table and his fingers covered his eyes. “It’s inappropriate to do this now.”
“Nah, it’s good. Go ahead, Michaels.” Mitch took his seat, and shoved a big bite of steak into his mouth as Colt dug inside the bag, pulling out a box. Mitch waved his fork around the dinner table. “Eat everyone.”
“Bacon condoms?” Colt read from the box, a big shit-eating grin bloomed across his face as he spoke the words. “Make your meat look like meat.”
After almost choking on his food, Kreed took a quick sip of water to wash down the rest before he inhaled the wrong way. He swallowed quickly, before saying, “You did not just do that at the dinner table, Knox.”
“I did. It gets better,” Mitch said, chomping on his steak, a smug expression spreading across his face. Cody just groaned and sat back.
“Eat, babe,” Mitch said to Cody, but his entire focus rested on Colt. Kreed turned back to Colt as the ex-quarterback dug farther into the gift bag. It was hard to judge who he should watch, because Mitch’s expression was pretty damn funny right now.
“Bacon flavored lube, Jace. He got us bacon flavored lube. Fuckin’ A! He might be my new best friend,” Colt exclaimed, beaming proudly as he lifted the bottle with one hand to show the entire table, while extending a fist to Mitch. Laughing hard, Mitch dropped his fork and reached across the table to meet Colt’s knuckle bump.
“You two are too much,” Jace said, shaking his head as his eyes danced between Mitch and Colt. “I’m not sure how we’ll all coexist for the next few days.”
“Eat, babe,” Mitch tried again, tapping his fork on Cody’s plate. His partner was as happy as Kreed had ever seen him.
“I’ve had enough,” Cody replied, sounding a little embarrassed. He moved his hands up and down on his thighs, rubbing his palms. His face was still bright red.
“You need to eat. You’re going to need your energy. I got us some, too.” Mitch must have prepared to say those words, because he began laughing before he ever got them all out.
“You’d think I would’ve learned by now,” Cody said, looking up at Kreed. Embarrassment flashing in his eyes.
Kreed laughed so hard at the look on Cody’s face that he had to completely stop eating. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Aaron reaching for another scoop of vegetables. Aaron’s plate was almost clean. How did he do that? He’d eaten an entire plate of food, never stopping the flow of the fork to his mouth, while everyone else couldn’t manage to eat and laugh at the same time.