“I want you. You have to know I do,” Kreed said quietly.
Aaron reached up, placing his hands on top of Kreed’s. “I know…just not right now. I understand you need your head in the game. Let me hold you tonight.” Aaron watched as Kreed thought over what he’d said. Kreed finally nodded, and Aaron pressed a chaste kiss to Kreed’s lips, then turned and walked toward the bed.
Aaron pulled the bedcovers back. He left his pajama bottoms and T-shirt on. He clicked on a lamp, and when he decided Kreed wouldn’t bolt, he left him standing there to turn off the overhead lights. Kreed slowly began to undress. He placed the long knife at his hip on the nightstand, along with his phone, then he checked his service weapon’s safety before placing it between the mattresses. The guy must really be spooked. Aaron crawled into bed from the other side and stretched out on his side. Kreed placed the blade he had strapped to his leg under his pillow before sitting on the edge, untying his boots.
“I hate feeling off, like there’s something I’m missing. I’m stuck inside this house and it’s killing me. I need to be out there doing more,” Kreed confessed with his back to Aaron.
“I figured as much, but there’s nothing else you can do. Mitch must feel the same,” Aaron said, not knowing what else to say. Kreed kicked off his boots and rose from the bed. He tugged down his jeans, stepped out of them then tossed them over a nearby chair. Kreed turned toward him wearing just his dark blue briefs. He kept those on as he climbed in bed. Kreed rolled to his side and pushed his feet under the blankets, facing him.
“You did good today,” Kreed said.
Aaron smiled at that. When he was little, his mom and dad would talk before they fell asleep, and for some reason, this reminded him of that, finding comfort in the moment. That was before everything got so fucked up with his family.
“You’ve told me that once already.”
“I know, but I’m proud of you. You know, you don’t have to sleep so far over there,” Kreed added.
“I didn’t want you to think I was pushing you into anything.”
“No, it’s good,” Kreed replied.
Aaron began scooting over. Kreed met him halfway, drawing him in closer until he was able to lay his head on Kreed’s shoulder. It was weird sleeping with someone like this. The few times he’d actually slept in bed with guys, he was usually the biggest guy, so the men would try and cuddle up against him. Kreed’s body was huge and didn’t give, his chest was rock hard and Aaron tried to find a comfortable position on all the muscle. “I really like having sex with you, but if you’re anywhere close to where I am, what we shared was more than just a fuck to me.”
“That was an honest statement,” Kreed said, moving around until he was looking at Aaron. Kreed adjusted his pillow, giving some to Aaron as he stared at him, studying his face. “You aren’t normally so forthcoming with information. Usually it’s like pulling teeth to get you to open up about anything.”
“Am I putting too much thought into it? Was I wrong?” Aaron asked, tucking his hands under his face.
“No, not wrong. Just finally honest without being pushed. And I would be lying if I said you were just a fuck,” Kreed said, regarding him curiously.
“So I get why we need to hold off. It messes with your head,” Aaron added, staying away from the honesty subject.
“I told you that.”
“I know you did. When this case is over, do you think we will see each other again?” Aaron asked. If Kreed didn’t want anything more with him, he needed to know, rein in all this runaway sentiment racing through him. He wanted to be with Kreed, but the stupid voice in the back of his head kept telling him he needed to stop before he got in too deep and ended up in prison. Why did he always want what he couldn’t have?
“It’s definitely something I’d like to explore. Depending on what they’ll need from me once this wraps up, I have vacation time I can use to take you somewhere,” Kreed answered. That was new too—someone wanting to take him somewhere as opposed to him being the one to take his guys places. How cool was that? His heart warmed.
“I’d like that,” he finally said. God, he would like that so much. He would just have to figure out how in the hell he could keep his other activities off Kreed’s radar. Kreed’s palm came up and tenderly cupped his face.
“You’re unexpected,” Kreed said, and Aaron stayed silent. If Kreed only knew the truth. And how long would it take for this newfound attraction to turn against him if Kreed ever found out?
“Where do you call home?” Kreed asked. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t want to lie. He lifted his head and searched Kreed’s face, knowing he was taking too long to answer but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to be honest. “It’s not a hard question,” Kreed said teasingly, but the laughter wasn’t reaching the deputy’s eyes. He knew Kreed was picking up that things weren’t exactly right with Aaron. There were holes in his story and he knew it. Kreed saw things that no one else did. He hated having to hide himself from Kreed. Aaron had made a habit out of making himself inconsequential, but Kreed wasn’t letting him slip through the cracks like he tried so hard to do.
“I have a place in Florida,” he finally said and quickly tried to change the subject. He wasn’t lying; he did have a place in Florida. “Where do you live?”
“I have an apartment in Louisiana that holds my stuff, but I travel all the time,” Kreed said quietly. “You don’t really live in Florida, do you?”
That hit way too close to home. “I do. It’s just family’s a touchy subject.” He tried to deflect and started to turn over so Kreed could spoon against him. If he gave Kreed his back, maybe Kreed would drop the subject. This conversation had gotten too personal and Kreed was too perceptive.