“Room for what?” Aaron asked, his tone now completely uncertain. “Like to change my mind or for you to change yours?”
At first, the words made Kreed immediately defensive. He didn’t feel like he’d created any distance between them for any reason, and if he had, he’d just explained why. He’d certainly never wanted space. He liked the kid. Just being around Aaron made him relax. Why would he want that to change?
Being innately self-reflective sucked, especially right now. Okay, so maybe he did put some space between them. Kreed knew he totally had that whole attitude of ‘an island to himself’ thing going on. He’d developed that during his years in the military. He pushed everyone away, kept even Knox at arm’s length most of the time.
That just made Aaron’s point crystal clear. The kid was remarkably intuitive at reading his moods, more so than anyone ever before. Maybe he did have an ulterior motive behind his actions. He did keep himself at the bureau offices until late into the night. He hadn’t sat next to Aaron when they ate together, and he’d left the house usually before Aaron woke.
Okay, so he had put space between them. What could that mean?
Kreed tightened his hold on Aaron’s hand. No matter what, whatever he’d done over the last few days was definitely not him changing his mind.
“I didn’t want you to feel like I was forcing you into anything. You’ve been through a lot over the last few weeks. It was all a new experience for both of us. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to stick with anything you said under all that stress. I want you to want this as much as I do.” The words were the truth, and his raw honesty even surprised Kreed himself. He hadn’t even realized that had been an issue for him until right that minute.
“I’m not weak, Kreed,” Aaron replied, frustration in his tone.
He’d been blaming Aaron for all the barriers between them when it was clearly him pulling away.
“I didn’t say you were,” Kreed said immediately.
“I’m not a kid,” Aaron responded in that same irritated tone.
“Okay. I do call you that, but I don’t think you’re that either. I called you that in the beginning to try and give you a place other than the one I wanted you in. Believe me, I know better than anyone you’re not a kid. It just stuck. It’s now a term of endearment, just like church boy. I call you that and you don’t go to fucking church,” Kreed added, trying to figure out where Aaron was going with all that.
There was silence between them for several long minutes. Kreed navigated onto the highway. They had gotten a call to stop by the house in Midlothian to pick up a few things left behind, then they needed to make a quick trip by the store before heading to the airport.
“I don’t want it to get weird between us,” Kreed finally said in all the silence between them.
“Then quit pulling away and making it weird,” Aaron countered. The kid had spunk. The only person on the planet who talked to him that way was Mitch, and he regularly put Mitch on the mat.
“Okay.” Kreed nodded to confirm that thought before adding quickly, “Then don’t let me.”
And the silence was back again between them.
Kreed had made it as far as South Dallas, almost to the suburbs, before Aaron responded, “I haven’t ever done the relationship thing before, not even tested the waters. I guess this is probably part of it.”
“Probably,” Kreed replied. He’d had what he’d thought at the time was a relationship, but it was a long time ago and mostly, as it turned out, was just in his head. The fantasy of finding ‘the one’ became a casualty of war when the guy ended up having a wife and a baby on the way. “So you’re taking us up a notch and shooting for a relationship?”
“Well, no…” His always-confident Aaron stumbled on that question, and Kreed laughed out loud.
“I’m totally kidding. I couldn’t help it. It’s all good and I agree,” Kreed said, still chuckling.
“I just know that, back when we were staying at the house, you said we’d go away and see if this was real. I was just emphasizing that thought.” Aaron tried to correct his slip.
“No, church boy, I got it. Truly. I was teasing you. Things got so tense with us the last few days…” Kreed drew Aaron’s knuckles up for a kiss. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to say or do. I didn’t mean to cause doubt between us.”
The kid got silent for a minute before he gave a little laugh.
“Which is actually kind of funny. The last two days should have been a breeze. The case was over. And when we decided to go away somewhere, that shit we were dealing with was way more serious.” Aaron’s grin was infectious.
“Yeah, I know, but you’re pretty hot. It’s hard for me to keep my head straight when you’re around. My brain gets all jacked up.”
There was a moment of silence again while Aaron’s expression turned softer, smoothing out his handsome face.
“That was a real good answer there, Sinacola. Keep that up and I’m pretty sure you’ll get lucky tonight,” Aaron teased.
“Mile high club? Oh man, this nine hour plane flight just started looking up.”
“Yeah…” Aaron started, then stopped before adding, “I’m not sure I want to be arrested today.”
“I’ll be the air marshal on the flight. I guarantee I won’t arrest you,” Kreed added, grinning broadly.
“That was pretty impressive—how you got us on that flight for nothing.”
“Yeah, you need to stick with me, kid. I got the hookup.”
Aaron barked out a laugh at that one. Whatever tension had built between them seemed to fade away once they were alone again. Maybe Kreed had caused this uncertainty between them, but it sure seemed like Aaron had also pulled away, at least a little. Regardless, the kid didn’t want to cancel the trip, and Kreed certainly wasn’t ready to end whatever they had going on. This time the silence between them wasn’t terrible. They drove the rest of the way to Midlothian, pulling off the highway in the same way the deacon had chosen to leave town. Kreed passed the site of the crash, right around the railroad tracks. The skid marks and soot stains from the fire still marred the road.