Where We Left Off (Middle of Somewhere 3)

He took a deep breath like he was trying to reset.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’ll be different this time because she was actually in the hospital. She has to go back for some follow-up blood tests.”

“Would they believe you if you told them about how stuff is?”

“And be responsible for Sarah and Nathan maybe getting taken away from their home and their friends and the mom who really fucking loves them and does right by them a hell of a lot more of the time than our parents ever did right by us, and who also, oh yeah, happens to be my sister? Yeah. No.”

Will went to run a hand through his hair and noticed for the first time that he was holding mine. I could see the surprise on his face, but I just gave him a small smile to tell him it was okay.

“And there’s no one else who could step in when Claire’s not… fit? A neighbor or a friend. Or maybe like one of Sarah or Nathan’s friends’ parents?”

“I… I’m not sure. I wouldn’t really trust one of them not to say anything.”

“Would you have to explain it all? Maybe Nathan and Sarah could just… know in the backs of their minds or something, like, ‘When mom is like this we go to so-and-so’s house and sleep over’?”

He hesitated, chewing on his lip. “Maybe. I don’t like asking other people to get involved in my shit.”

“I know. But sometimes people honestly do want to help.”

Will looked at me like this was a thought that had never occurred to him before.

“Like you,” he murmured, and it was half question and half acknowledgment of something that I think we’d both known for a while.

I nodded. It was enough for now.

Chapter 14

March

THE NEXT day, while Will took Claire back to the hospital for her tests and got her car fixed, I went to go see my mom and Janie. My dad and Eric were both at work, but they’d be home for dinner.

The first thing my mom said was how much taller I was. I hadn’t realized it until Will and I were lying side by side on the air mattress the night before, taking elaborate care not to touch, but I was taller than him now by an inch or two. I’d been so busy lately with school and everything that I hadn’t even noticed. And I guess my slouchy jeans had kind of covered it up anyway. Besides, with a roommate as tall as Charles, I always felt short anyway. She also told me how handsome I looked, but she was my mom, so. I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror after she said it. But, no. Same old Leo, my nose too small for my mouth and my straight eyebrows making me look like I took everything too seriously.

We talked about what New York was like, but no matter how much I explained it, she couldn’t seem to understand that I didn’t live in Times Square since it was the foremost picture of New York she had. She was delighted to hear about my new friends, and she seemed really impressed when I told her I had declared a physics major. “I took that class in school,” she remarked, meaning at the high school in Holiday. “I think I liked it.”

Janie thought it was incredibly cool that I worked at a real-life New York City coffee shop, and when I told her about Layne she said, “Oh, lesbians are so in right now,” and I didn’t even have the energy to ask what that meant.

It was nice to sit there in my mom’s kitchen, eating the Girl Scout cookies that she arranged on a plate and sipping the chemically lemon tea she always drank while we talked. Nice, but not like home. It was a sensation I’d had before. Of being a guest in the place that felt like home to the rest of my family.

As the sun started to set, I caught my mom beginning to cast glances at the oven clock. It was time for her to start cooking dinner. I cleared away the cookie crumbs and cold tea bags, and my mom stood up quickly, pulling ingredients out of the refrigerator before I’d even rinsed the dishes. A quick glance at the counter told me just what she’d be cooking. A casserole with chicken, peas, and cream of mushroom soup, and Pillsbury dinner rolls.

I had intended to stay for dinner, but when Eric and my dad got home a few minutes later, it was clear that things wouldn’t be different than they’d ever been. They were happy to see me, sure. I asked them each how work was and Eric told me about his new gym routine. I told my dad what classes I was taking when he asked, unsure if he was just trying to make conversation or if my mom really hadn’t told him.