Where We Left Off (Middle of Somewhere 3)

“Hey,” he said before his camera was turned on. “Sorry. I thought I was opening it but I accidentally redownloaded the thingie. Anyway, what’s up? What’d Will do now?”

“Click your camera button.”

“Huh, oh. Now?”

I nodded as his face appeared on the screen. He was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the couch. His dark hair was mussed, like he’d been running a hand through it, and he squinted at the screen for a moment, then took off his glasses and tossed them on the coffee table, rubbing his eyes.

“Hi.” He waved. He always waved on Skype even though he didn’t do it in person, and I couldn’t help but grin at him despite vibrating with caffeine and feeling like I was about to puke from my guts being tied in knots of uncertainty—although, maybe that was just all the soft-serve.

“You grading?” He only did that particular eye rub after staring at student papers.

“Yes, god help me. Rough drafts. Why did I ask to see rough drafts? Seriously, kill me where I stand.” He shook his head as if cursing his former self. “Anyway. What’s the deal with Dickface?” Then he jerked away from the screen. “Oh shit. I forgot. His sister. Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’s doing better. Will’s staying out there another day to help her get some stuff sorted.” I wasn’t sure how much of Claire’s personal info Will would want me to share, especially since he and Daniel weren’t exactly buds. “Saw the cabin. I think it misses you guys.”

A wistful expression played across Daniel’s face. “Yeah. I miss it too. I think….” He looked around. “I think I might take Rex there over the summer. Like, surprise him or whatever.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet!”

Daniel looked away and got all self-conscious like he did whenever I said anything like that, so I changed the subject quickly.

“So, in Holiday, we… like, I guess, slept together again, but I don’t know if that means we’re… back on the way we were, or…. It seemed different or something. And I can’t talk to Will about it yet because, duh, family crisis and stuff, and also because he’d be about zero percent interested in discussing it, but it’s honestly killing me and I won’t be able to sleep or work or do really anything until I know more. Just… more. Also, sorry, full disclosure: I’ve had, like, a lot of Coke just now, so. The soda, I mean. And ice cream. Like. A lot.”

“Yeah, I thought my picture was shaky, but I guess you’re just vibrating.”

I filled him in on what had happened between Will and me in Michigan, but I found myself not quite wanting to describe Will’s shift in attitude. His vulnerability. The way he seemed to need me. Not just because Will might want to murder me for telling personal details about him to Daniel. But also because I felt protective of this side of Will that only I knew. As if keeping it to myself made me somehow closer to him. It was our secret.

A door slammed on Daniel’s side of things and Rex walked behind the couch, arms full of grocery bags. He did a double take at the screen and bent down.

“Hey, Leo.”

Daniel smiled as Rex came into the screen and twisted around to him, though the couch was between them. He focused back on me when Rex went to put away the groceries.

“Okay, so, where did you leave things?”

“Well, he drove me to the airport and he thanked me for coming. And he really meant it, I could tell. But I don’t know what it means. Like, before the… um, Tiramisu Incident, we were sleeping together but not dating or whatever.” I rolled my eyes at the word. “But… Will just seemed different in Holiday. Like he thought of me differently?”

God, that sounded so stupid. But Daniel nodded.

“But Will’s made it clear from the beginning that he doesn’t want a relationship. Like, very clear. Will doesn’t really pull punches when it comes to being honest. Or blunt. Or, well, you know. He doesn’t actually pull punches, period. So… I guess I don’t know why I think things’ll be different.”

Daniel ran his hand through his hair like he was trying to find a way to say something I wouldn’t want to hear.

“Oh, just say it, it’s okay,” I told him.

“Yeah,” he drawled. “You know Will isn’t my favorite person, but that’s not why I’m saying this. Just, usually if someone tells you they don’t want a relationship, then… uh, they don’t want one.”

“I know.” I sighed. “But….” I could see how it sounded. Like Will had told me no and I was looking for excuses not to take him at his word. “Look, the thing is that he… he acts like we’re in a relationship sometimes. You know? And, in Michigan… fuck, I dunno. You’re probably right. Will means what he says; he doesn’t, like, play coy or whatever.”