Raze (Riven 3)

Dane pulled away slightly to look at me and smiled once more. He traced thick fingers down my cheek to my throat, and I had to touch him one more time.

“Can I hug you hello too?” I asked softly.

Dane seemed to bring out the squishiest, softest, neediest parts of me. The parts I usually swallowed down, knowing they wouldn’t be welcomed. But somehow I needed to know if he might accept them—maybe even want them.

In response, he pulled me firmly to his body, and I felt that thick muscle against my stomach and chest. I could have let my whole weight fall forward, down the stairs, and he’d hold me up effortlessly. I squeezed him tight, shutting my eyes and letting everything but the sensation of his body recede.

I came back to warm fingers at my nape.

“Felix.”

“Hmm?”

“You okay?”

I nodded against his shoulder and he stroked the back of my neck, then gave my ponytail a gentle tug.

“Should we go in?” he asked after another minute.

I nodded again and forced myself to ease my hold on him. He studied me for a moment, then brushed my cheek. He looked almost shocked at himself, and I realized that if he hadn’t dated anyone in a long time then things like casual touches and kisses, maybe even hugs, might not have been part of his life for a long time.

It made my chest ache, the idea of someone with as much tenderness in him as Dane keeping it all bottled up.

“Thanks for coming here with me.”

“I’ve never been before,” he said.

His shoulders were tight again, as if once we’d stopped touching, the invisible armor he wore had settled back into place.

“For real?”

He nodded. “Walked past a thousand times but never gone in.”

“I love it here. I love museums.” We made our way inside. “When Sof and I first moved here it was one of the things I was most excited about. At first I felt bad only giving a dollar or two, but they say pay what you can, and I was broke. Besides, there are plenty of people who can pay the full price—more than the full price—so presumably they even me out, right?”

“I heard a podcast about sliding scales that said a large percentage of people pay the bottom end of the sliding scale, even rich people, but very few pay the high end of it.”

“Oh. Well, shit. Did it say why?”

“Some people were trying to get whatever it was for the least money possible. Others miscategorized where they fell on the wealth spectrum and truly believed that they were on the low end.”

“I believe that. Like, I grew up pretty broke, and I’m pretty broke now. I bet even if tomorrow I magically started making double the money I make now, I’d still feel like I was broke. I guess you need to reality-check yourself sometimes, huh?”

“Yes,” he said. “Or have someone you trust to reality-check you.”

I slid my hand into his, slowly, so he’d have time to pull away if he didn’t want to hold my hand in public. His gaze flew to mine in surprise.

“This okay?”

Dane swallowed hard and nodded, then he squeezed my hand.

I took a moment to appreciate the Tyrannosaurus rex and Apatosaurus skeletons that soared overhead in the entrance hall, even with people swarming around us. I never tired of the graceful arc of their spines or the delicate clutch of their claws. The way the present was visible through the bones of the past.

“Wow,” Dane said beside me.

“Yeah. Guess they make even you seem small by comparison, huh?” I teased.

Dane turned me to face him with one large hand. His expression was mild, but his eyes flashed.

“You like how much bigger I am than you?” he asked, low voice a barely audible caress, eyes boring into mine.

A throb of hot lust hit me.

“I, um. I. Yeah.”

We stood like that for a moment, Dane looming over me, solid muscle and warm skin, the T. rex looming over him, its articulated bones blooming like a prehistoric palm.

Finally, Dane had mercy on me. He squeezed my shoulder and leaned in close to whisper, “Me too.” He gave me one more intense look, then backed up. I took deep breaths until I got my libido under control, making dopey boner/bones/skeletons jokes in my head to distract myself.

“Can we go see the other dinosaurs first?” I asked.

“It’s your show,” he said easily.

He let me lead him from place to place, listening as I pointed out my favorite exhibits and those that I thought were badly done.

Dane liked all the animals but was especially fascinated by the Hall of New York City Birds.

“Damn,” he said over and over as he read the plaques. He traced the elegant swells of their bellies and the spans of their wings with his finger hovering close to the glass.