And so, a week later I began shadowing Amira, learning how she designed the activities the kids did during their time at the museum, what the goals of those activities were, and how she worked with teachers to set them. She had me put together coloring packets and clipboards and arrange ropes around certain parts of exhibits.
After a month of me not acting like an idiot, the museum ran some kind of background check on me so I was allowed to be around children, and Amira had me hand out papers and walk kids to the bathroom during the activities.
I loved it. I’d never known how much I would enjoy working with kids, but I found their comments hilarious and their questions astute. I loved to watch their minds get blown when they saw new things or understood something for the first time.
Amira had a degree in education and childhood development, so I asked her a zillion questions, which she patiently answered. Little by little, shadowing her became more like helping her, and then like working alongside her.
“I’m going to talk to Ann,” Amira told me one day. “You’re working. It’s not right for you not to get paid.”
“But you don’t actually need me,” I protested. “You were fine without me, and if you force Ann’s hand she might choose to get rid of me instead of pay me.”
Amira agreed to wait a little while, but made it clear she didn’t like it.
One day last month, I brought in a diorama I’d made to show Amira. It was about cacti, and in one half showed how little water cacti needed to survive in desert conditions. On the other side, it showed the way cacti could be propagated in water. One plant thriving in two seemingly opposed conditions.
“I imagined it as a big, like, museum-sized diorama, you know?” I told Amira. “So next to the desert side would be a time-elapse video of a cactus in the desert with days and days of no rain, utilizing its stored resources. On the water side would be a time-elapse video of a piece of the same type of cactus growing roots in water and eventually growing a whole new lobe. Then for a you-can-touch part, we could have a whole bunch of samples at different stages of the water propagation process, and ones that had been without water. I mean, if there was a budget, the kids could each take home a little cactus lobe in a jar of water.”
I trailed off. Amira was examining the box. It still showed the name of the liquor company on the outside. Dane got all my boxes for me from the bar.
“That’s a great idea,” she said finally.
“It is?”
“Yeah,” she said. “It is.” She looked thoughtful. “Look, you need to let me talk to Ann. You have ideas and are artistic enough to carry them out. You’re great with the kids and easy to work with. Is there a position open for an exhibit designer? No. Do I think Ann should hire you anyway? Yes.”
I started to protest, but she cut me off.
“I’m an educator. I’m not an artist. It would be very useful to have someone who could execute simple, low-cost pieces that would aid in the way we present material to the kids. Just let me talk to her.”
I worried my lip. Now that I was close to something I wanted so much, I was scared to risk losing what I already had for the potential to get something better. But I knew what I’d say to Dane if he were in the same position. Go for it.
“Okay,” I said. “Okay, thanks. I’d appreciate that.”
I spent the next week biting my nails until I was called into Ann’s office.
“Amira is forcing me to hire you,” she said wryly.
“Um. Sorry?”
Ann shrugged. She had this particular kind of New York insouciance that kept me off-balance.
“She’s right. She made it clear what a valuable addition you would be to the museum education department. If you’re interested, I can offer you a position on a trial basis. We’ll reassess in three months and decide if you’re still a good fit. What do you say?”
“Yes! Oh my gosh, that’s so awesome. Yes, for sure.”
“Felix,” Ann said, and her smile seemed genuinely amused instead of simply friendly. “Don’t you want to know how much it pays, what your hours would be, et cetera?”
I cringed and nodded. But the second I left Ann’s office, I texted Sue my undying devotion, and then made a beeline for Dane’s apartment, to tell the man who actually had my undying devotion that I wasn’t a loser anymore.
First thing the next morning, I gave my two weeks’ notice at Buggy’s, grinning the whole time.
I’d actually done it. I’d gotten the kind of job I hadn’t even let myself hope for all these years.