Skeleton considered herself queen of the apartment and my abortive efforts to curtail her freedoms were fruitless, so I quickly stopped bothering. She greeted me at the door when I came home and slept in my lap on the couch. She curled up next to my pillow in bed, whether I was alone or Felix was staying over. She jumped into the bathtub after I showered and lapped delicately at the water.
And, fuck, just watching her made me so happy I couldn’t believe it.
My apartment, once a quiet, lonely, empty box, was full.
I had much less to do than I had before, but now I enjoyed the things I did. I liked seeing the bar thrive under Johi’s expert hand and providing a place for people to hang out that was different than the hundreds of other bars they could go to in the city.
With more space, my mind had turned to other things. Instead of always trying to keep myself occupied, now I felt curious to see where my mind would wander because so often it wandered to a future with Felix. I enjoyed simply sitting still now because it meant Skellie would sit on me.
A future. That’s what I had now. For so many years, I’d been scrabbling to get through each day. Now, each day smoothed into the next like the rambling conversations Felix and I had, ebbing and flowing with the rhythm of our time. Even my body felt different—strength turned inward, a calm conviction that I was powerful enough to carry out any of the futures we dreamed up.
And little by little, that future had developed in my mind into something specific. Something permanent.
* * *
—
Felix had looked at me like I’d lost it when I told him he needed to explicitly tell our guests that he didn’t want any expensive birthday gifts—until I told him about Theo’s well-meaning Christmas gift to me two years before. Though I’d returned the car to Theo with deep thanks, I’d told him that any future gifts, if there had to be future gifts, should be under twenty dollars. He’d shrugged and agreed, and Caleb had rolled his eyes fondly and mouthed “Rock stars” at me.
Theo gave away his money whenever he could—to friends, to charity, to pay off random fans’ student loans, and by giving people gifts—so I knew it had been well-meaning, but I also knew that Felix wouldn’t feel able to reject a gift once it was given. I’d underlined his desire to Caleb so he’d make sure no jet planes or yachts showed up at Felix’s birthday party.
As a result, after dinner when Theo said, “Presents!” I felt only the vaguest sense of dread. But even that turned out to be unfounded. Felix ripped open the large box Theo and Caleb had brought to reveal a crate of onions, potatoes, squash, and turnips from their garden. Felix thanked them and passed the crate to me, and Skeleton immediately pounced into the box, batting at the scraps of wrapping paper that curled over the top.
“Wait, wait, there’s more stuff in there,” said Theo.
Felix reached a careful hand into the box and pulled out a bag of soil and some plastic bags of seeds labeled in Caleb’s handwriting. He peered into the box again and made the aww sound that meant Skeleton was doing something adorable. He lifted out a stack of terra-cotta pots and Skeleton poked her head out of the top pot, confused about why she had been disturbed.
“Jesus, she really sold the gift.” Theo reached out and ran a gentle finger down Skeleton’s back. “We thought you might like to grow some veggies over there,” Theo said, pointing to the large window. “You get enough light.”
“Wow, thanks, guys. That’s awesome. I’d really like that.” Felix hesitated, then turned to me, as if remembering that it was my apartment. “If you’re okay with it?”
I nodded my consent and Caleb shot me a narrow-eyed look. He’d taken great interest when he found out Felix had installed Skeleton in my apartment. First it had been gentle teasing and commiseration about boyfriends with a weakness for cute animals that then took over our lives. Then it was prodding questions: Now that Skeleton moved in, is someone else going to?
Matt gave Felix a gift card for the movie theater they often went to and Rhys gave him an IOU for one weekend getaway in Sleepy Hollow where he and Matt would clear off and stay with Caleb and Theo, giving us the house.
We’d never taken a real vacation together, and I could see how excited Felix was to redeem it.
Coco gave Theo a gift card for audiobooks.
“How’d you know?” Felix asked, gleeful.
Coco smiled and inclined her head gracefully. “I know things.”
Sofia snorted and elbowed her.
“Fine, Sofia might have mentioned it.”