“Okay, shit, I’m really sorry. When Rhys told me to come hang, I guess I assumed you’d asked him to, but I’m—sorry, I’m an idiot.”
“No, no! I don’t not like you at all. I don’t really know you much. I hadn’t thought about it. It always seems like . . . you know, like you guys are Rhys’s friends, and I kinda shut up because you all talk about music and I don’t know anything about music and also I thought you guys didn’t like me.” I trailed off. I hadn’t meant to say that. But Theo grinned.
“I get it, totally. Okay. But so if we don’t not like each other, it’s cool to hang?” At my nod, he relaxed. “Awesome. Cuz I’ve really wanted to get to know you, but you don’t talk much when it’s all of us together. Guess that explains that.”
I relaxed too, grateful it was that easy. A minute later, Theo pushed my phone toward me, and I realized it was vibrating.
Rhys’s text said, Seriously, are you pissed? I just really think you and T will get along if you give him a chance . . .
I wasn’t pissed, exactly. But Rhys had this idea that because he was into me, everyone else would be too, and I didn’t share his confidence.
I couldve had other plants, I texted back. Plans I mean.
But then I felt bad because Rhys knew as well as I did that I wouldn’t have other plans—or plants, for that matter—and he’d never have done it otherwise. I wrote: Its cool. I made him coffee so he’ll prob never come back anyway.
Rhys’s grinning emoji and heart emoji response made me smile helplessly.
“That Rhys apologizing for dive-bombing you with me?”
I snorted. “Not apologizing exactly.”
“Yeah, Rhys doesn’t seem much like the apologizing type.”
I thought about that. “Rhys apologizes if he really thinks he did something wrong. He just usually thinks he’s right.”
Theo laughed, but I hadn’t been joking. Rhys didn’t do things he thought were wrong. It was one of the things I admired most about him. Of course it also meant he was stubborn as hell and righteously bossy. But . . . if I were honest, I didn’t hate that either.
“Must be lonely here without him. He takes up a lot of space.”
I sighed. That was definitely true. The second Rhys walked into a room every molecule seemed to arrange itself in relation to him. “Is that . . . normal?” I asked.
“Oh yeah,” Theo said, as if that weren’t a weird question. “I get so lonely on tour. Well, I haven’t toured since I was with Riven, but I was, like, desperately lonely when I was away from Caleb. If he decides to go on tour in the future, I guarantee I’ll be a wreck. Then you’ll have to come over to my house and make me terrible coffee and keep me company. Uh, not that you’re a wreck, just saying.”
I smiled. “Deal.”
You’re not a wreck; you’re fine. You’re fine now. You’re Matt, not Grim. It’s not how it was then. Everything’s fine.
We chatted over another cup of coffee, about his and Caleb’s garden and about books. It turned out Theo was super into mysteries. I told him he should borrow a sci-fi mystery I really liked when he left, and he told me next time he came over he’d bring me some of his favorite mysteries to try. It was on that even footing that I agreed to take a walk when he suggested it.
It was getting hot, so I led us to the cemetery, since its shaded paths would keep us out of the sun.
“Hey,” I said, trying to make conversation. “Did you know that, uh . . . a band shot this one video here where they crawl out of a grave, and . . . shit, I forget. Rhys was telling me. Something to do with Stephen King.”
“Oh! ‘Pet Sematary,’ by the Ramones? That was here? Cool.”
I nodded, my face burning.
“You weren’t kidding when you said you weren’t into music, huh?”
“Well, not new music. Not much. I mean, I think Rhys’s stuff is great,” I added quickly, which was the truth. Then I realized it kind of implied I didn’t like Theo’s or Caleb’s music, and I started to say something, but Theo didn’t notice.
“What kind of stuff do you usually listen to?”
“I really like fifties and sixties soul and R & B.”
It was what Grin had played nonstop when we were at St. Jerome’s and later when we lived together, and it was really all I’d ever bothered listening to.
“Oh, yeah, for sure,” Theo said, and then he didn’t say anything else about music. I got the sense that rather than being offended, he was relieved not to talk about it. “You know what I really wanna do?” he said after we’d walked a bit farther. “I want to get some drinks and sit in your backyard. I never drink anymore, because of Caleb, and I don’t really miss it except on days like today.”