Illusions That May (Court High 2)

December

My sheets were free of Royal Prinze when I woke up, and it hurt how I’d become so dependent on him so quickly. When I first moved to Maywood Heights and came to Windsor Prep, I couldn’t stand him and even borderline hated him.

So why now, did I shiver without his arms?

I grabbed my puppy instead, reaching down for her as the sun slammed harshly into my eyes. Between crying and whatever the hell time it was, my eyes weren’t having it. My little chocolate lab hopped onto my bed the minute I leveled her with it, and I grabbed my phone after.

Royal: I had to leave and take care of something. I’m sorry.

Another one of his sorrys, fitting since I couldn’t stop crying. Reality came back with a rush, and as I lay back down, my puppy licking my face, I could only close my eyes again. I couldn’t do this day right now.

I just wasn’t ready.

I think I fell asleep because by the time I woke up, the day was well into the afternoon. I knew by the fresh light that was no longer there and the chill around had me opening my eyes. My window let me see the impossible, snowflake flutters I’d only seen in pictures. It tended not to snow in California, but I guess in the Midwest, October was game. A knock hit my door behind me, and I said nothing, snuggling Hershey. Eventually, the door cracked open.

“December?”

I burrowed deeper into my blankets, knowing I was still naked from my night with Royal Prinze. I knew Rosanna was a girl, but I really wasn’t trying to be seen naked on top of everything else. I lay quiet, and eventually, a step came into my room.

“Your dad’s back,” she said, a strain in her voice. I couldn’t see her with my back turned but I didn’t need to. I was sure she’d cried a few of her own tears, and though I didn’t know how close she’d been with my sister, she’d been good to me. She’d been kind, and if our relationship was any indicator, she’d been the same with my sister. She’d been a friend too. Her sigh staggered. “He’d like to see you if you could come down.”

My dad was back already. My dad was here with news.

I had to face reality again.

I had my puppy in my arms when I came downstairs, my oversize shirt and shorts on. After this talk with my dad, I had every intention of getting back into my bed and pulling the sheets over my head. I might even do that before the end of this talk if my strength didn’t hold up. We would see, I guess.

Steps let my dad know I entered the room, his head moving. In his clothes from last night, he had his hands in his pockets, his back to me as he stared at the snowflakes I just discovered myself upstairs.

Rosanna led me to a seat, the woman’s eyes just as red as Royal’s last night. She sat beside me on the couch, and squeezing Hershey, I put my legs up.

Dad angled his head back. “What did I say about having the dog on furniture?”

I stiffened, not expecting that. In the days leading up to this moment, my dad had certainly gotten better when it came to Hershey. He even let her live with us, the pink collar and tag around her neck even given to me by him. I fingered it. “I’ll hold her. I promise.”

His only response was a gaze out the window, and since he didn’t protest about my proposal, I sat tight, stiff with a normally restless puppy. Was this how it would be with my dad again? We’d been making progress…

But that had been before, hadn’t it? It’d been during a time when he finally started getting used to me being in his space and accepting my reasons for coming here. I came here for my sister. I hoped my presence would ultimately bring her back. She always came to rescue me, and knowing I was in her space, I thought she’d do the same. She’d always been very adamant about keeping me out of her world and her life here, and after living in it for a time, I understood. Besides the stuff going on with my father, there was a law here run by none other than Royal and other boys in town known as the Court. They were a pretty big fucking deal in this town, and I had crossed them a time or two. That’d been when I hadn’t understood Royal and his relationship with Paige as his best friend. But when things had started to settle down on that front, the same ended up happened at home. My dad and I had started to get along, and dare I say, he wanted me here. I hadn’t been a burden to him.

I breathed hard. “You saw her?” He came back so quickly. Had he even been gone?

My question went without words, my dad suddenly tense as he braced his arms. “I did. It was her… What was left anyway. There wasn’t much.”

A hand squeezed mine, Rosanna, and I closed my eyes, the tears squeezing down. No one could prepare themselves for something like this. I mean, what the fuck.

“And she was dragged, Mr. Lindquist?” Rosanna asked, braver than me. I had more questions too, but I refused to ask them.

My dad gave us that with his nod. “The officials are saying from Corrington Meadows, a town or so over. They’re thinking she got hit sometime between four and six. A train went through during that time. It was dark, early in the morning.”

It was dark.

Everything Royal said came flying back, everything true. Everything goddamn true.

“And the amount of alcohol the coroner said was in her system was off the charts,” my dad explained, shaking his head. “She was out there, wandering around wasted, and got herself—”

“Dad?” I retched, an arm coming around and squeezing me. Rosanna rubbed my arm, my tears falling again. I didn’t care what my sister did. He couldn’t talk that way about her. Not now.

Dad closed his lips, his hands moving to slide inside his pockets. Turning away, he faced the window again. “I’ve chosen to have her cremated considering.”