I had no idea what I was doing, inviting her to my room and deeper into my life, but once my lips got going, I couldn’t seem to stop them.
Billie
Flipping through LJ’s design portfolio, it was hard not to notice him hovering over me.
I mean, we were in his room now.
We’d managed to keep our hands off each other, but we were and I truly had to be an idiot. I’
d put myself in this position far too many times before. The most recent, only seconds ago in the guest room down the hall.
My gaze drifted to a set of baby blues staring at me, LJ’s big body crammed into the window seat with me. I hadn’t gone anywhere near his bed. This was safer, and as it happened to be near the bookshelf where he got his design book, I’d been okay with this.
I turned another page. “You really are good.”
Had I been in the market, I might have hired him myself, his smile coy beside me. He studied his work over my shoulder, but I felt like he was more so studying me. He watched me study his work, fingers to his lips. “And here you just thought I was a lazy shit.”
“Oh, you’re definitely a lazy shit.”
A deep chuckle, his chest rumbling against my back. That was how close he was, smelling like aftershave and the ocean. He grinned. “I try when I feel like it. I’m pretty much set up after school. I’ve made some contacts and my professors have put in good words for me.”
I closed the book. “Well, I’m glad you have your thing. I wanna teach, so yeah, that’s where I’m at.”
“You’d be good at it.” He raised a foot to the window seat. “Nothing but a hard ass.”
“As long as none of my students are as arrogant as you, I think I’ll be good.” I shoved him, and he took my hand, a way too dangerous action. “LJ?”
A warning in my voice, but more for myself. I was warning myself I needed to stay away from this guy. I was warning myself he hurt me before and was probably about to again as soon as he could.
Even still, he didn’t let go, playing with my fingers. “You fuck with my head, you know,” he stated, looking up at me. “You’re not good for me.”
“And you’re good for me?” I started to pull my hand away, but he kept me. He wouldn’t throw me away.
“…when I have something good, I don’t throw it away.”
“I’m the worst for you,” he admitted, his words cold. “Probably even worse than the other way around. Surely, your daddy warned you about people like me. Thugs? Kingpins…”
He hadn’t, but he would. He would if I let him.
I wasn’t currently on speaking terms with my dad, but LJ was right. He would not want me to be with someone like him. Besides the fact that he was completely self-involved and arrogant, he was also dangerous. No, my daddy wouldn’t like this.
My hand flatted on LJ’s heart with a press, his racing muscle beneath my hand. I frowned. “Why am I bad for you?”
He looked up, and so much flashed across his eyes, so many words, but all of them unsaid. He wet his lips. “Because when it comes to my life, I have one priority. Family and that’ll never change.”
But what did that have to do with me? I didn’t understand.
He let go, but I grabbed his shirt, a warning in his eyes now. “Beauty queen…”
“It’s Billie,” I said, getting on my knees. I shouldn’t cross this line, and he obviously had his own reasons for not wanting to do the same.
He grabbed my hands. “Billie then,” he said, his thumbs touching my chin. “I’m really not good for you.”
“Then try to be.” Completely blinded, I took his mouth, wishing, praying he could be that very thing. That he’d choose to be so…
That this was worth it.
What we felt, at least on my end, always felt right. I couldn’t stand it, but that didn’t mean I could deny the feeling. This guy and I were literally liquid heat, physically unable to flow in a different way.