“Yeah, yeah.” I passed that off, way off but wow. Wow. I shook my head. “Yeah.”
“I’m not sure I believe you.” His look curious before his eyes danced at me. “You lying to me?”
“No.”
Curious again before he chuckled and pinched my chin, tipping it down. “Okay, play your games, Jersey girl,” he paused, but then, smoothed his hands over my hips, cupping my ass. “But after you’re done doing all that, how about we play some together? Finish breakfast and get back to where we were.”
Back to all this he meant, his hands massaging my hips and making me feel good. His hands distracting me and clearly avoiding literally everything else. His business was his and maybe it wasn’t drama. Maybe he was okay with being so close to someone who had such a firm hold over his life in the past. I really didn’t know his dynamic, but I did know what last night was for both of us.
It’d been avoidance.
It’d been giving in to pleasure and passion, so we didn’t have to address other things clearly in the room here. It’d been fun for a night true, but long term?
I unknotted his arms from around me once more but this time he stood and cradled my elbows when I placed my back to him.
“What’s up?” His chin touched down on the top of my head. Like I was his bite-sized kid when really, our age difference favored in my direction. It wasn’t a big deal he was in his twenties but being older did give me a perspective he didn’t have. It let me see things he didn’t see, even easier when it wasn’t your own life. I couldn’t handle my own crap for anything, a big reason why last night even happened.
I palmed my face. “I’m not looking for anything serious,” I said, making myself. His fingers paused on my elbows and I turned within his hands. “I just moved here, got a new job I’m starting soon, then getting this place together?” I shook my head. “I’ve
got my plate full.”
All of these things were very true—in fact, so true I forced myself to believe they weren’t complete and utter bullshit. That they were the reason I didn’t want to see him again and ignore the fact that all I actually wanted were his hands all over me and to be completely surrounded by him. We were in different places, him and me.
And I really couldn’t add to my own drama.
Ramses’s fingers grazed a jawline on the cusp of shadow, like he had a lot of thoughts but wasn’t quite sure how to voice them. He opted, in the end, to hitch himself back against my kitchen island, his big hands handling his biceps. “Was it something I did?”
Oh, fuck.
Yes. “No.” Both answers really, both of us and our shit. I touched my face before my fingers settled at my neck. “I’m just busy. Don’t have time for anything serious.”
He should be used to this, right? Young and turning women down himself. Ramses was a very handsome man, and I was quite sure he’d been through his own fair share of letdowns.
Though maybe not so much on his end with his response, taking a seat before facing me. He opened his hands. “I get it. I actually just moved back here. Busy too.”
I hated that my heart squeezed, like someone kicked me in the gut and sucked all the air out of my chest at the same time. That he was denying me.
He took a seat, his fist dropping between his long legs. “Well, can I at least have your number?” he chuckled, but I noticed the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. Not like last night anyway. “I’d like to keep talking to you. We can just be friends.”
Yeah, I couldn’t be this guy’s friend without something more, impossible.
How did he have so much of my heart already?
It must have been infatuation only and a hell of a lot of good sex. Ramses was great at sex, great at oral sex. I lifted my hand off my neck, saying nothing, and this did get a full laugh on his end this time. Though, a clear hint of frustration weaved within it the way he smoothed his hand over his curls before setting back at his neck. I wasn’t going to give him anything. I couldn’t.
It would make all this easier. Cutting off ties was easier. Bracing his arms, he stared at me.
“Jersey girl…” He sighed before reaching and dipping two fingers in my robe’s belt loops. He hooked me over and though I didn’t want to, I did. His arms came to fall around my waist and though he sat, he still had to look down at me with his size. “I can’t change your mind?”
Since he couldn’t, I shook my head. “We had fun. Let’s not complicate it.”
The way I’d simplified last night, everything that went down clearly didn’t sit well with him, and he showed me that when he let go of me and picked up his fork. He started eating food that’d long gone cold, but that didn’t stop him from distracting himself from me.
“Yeah, fun,” he said, his tone dry, and I hated that I did that. He’d thank me for this later. He didn’t want any more drama in his life either, and he’d get a lot of that with me. It was like it always seemed to follow me.
Even if it hadn’t always been this way.
Chapter Eight