Lover (Court University 4)

I chortled, barking a laugh before righting with my stuff. “I’m not stalking you.”

“Sure.” His eyes twinkled now; his fingers laced. He glanced at the seat beside him. “Well, are you going to sit?”

No, and I showed him that when I exited out of the aisle. By then, the room had basically completely filled, but I made it only about halfway to the door before a woman in jeans and a beanie hat closed it. She was middle-aged, gray and brown curls under her hat, and pulling off her gloves, she looked at me. “Oh, you’re a new face. You joining us today, sweetie?”

Well, fuck.

But before I could fight her, she was guiding me back toward the chairs, telling me her life story and how nice this group was. She also said she hoped I’d participate and after literally walking me toward the front of the room, deposited me maybe a row or two behind Ramses.

I plopped down with basically a plop as the woman smiled at me.

“We’re about to begin,” she said. “Happy to have you.”

I forced my own smile through gritted teeth. I was here now, so I obviously couldn’t leave.

I placed my coat down as I watched the woman waddle her way up toward the front of the room, about to curse then growl when I noticed shaking shoulders ahead.

I caught Ramses mid-glance as he faced forward, the jerk laughing and clearly at me. Call it a freaking feeling, his head going back as he crossed his legs then placed his hands on his knee.

“Welcome to Coping with Change,” the woman who seated me said, grinning at the crowd. “This is a very easy going group, and I hope we can all help each other. We have a lot of new faces today, so let’s start by saying our names. How about you first over there? We spoke before. Would love to know a bit about who you are. Happy to have you.”

All gazes navigated in my direction and Ramses, well, completely turned around. He’d also gone casual today, his band t-shirt cuffing hard over his shoulders as he rested a thick arm on the back of his chair. He actually looked his age today, a typical college guy in his well-worn jeans.

He passed me that Ramses’s grin, dashing his eyebrows in my direction to tell these strangers all about myself.

Shaking my head, I faced the room, making my name and occupation known but quickly. After that, they moved on and I didn’t miss those large shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Ramses got great satisfaction out of my discomfort.

I shrunk in my chair.

I tried not to the whole meeting, but all this was terribly awkward even if I hadn’t run into the guy I’d slept with, who was also my student and my friend’s son.

I wrestled with my coat above a rocking knee, only partially listening to everyone going around and sharing. I found myself distracted by the guy not two rows in front of me, the one paying complete attention like he was in class.

Ramses listened to everyone’s stories. He mentioned nothing about himself but did participate with the other’s in the group. In fact, he’d engaged a lot with them, in that social way and that gift of the gab he had. He was still doing the appeasing thing he did, clearly. I’d seen it on more than one occasion with myself. The last time he’d made me look at him. Just look at him to calm down.

“Listen to me and get out of your head.”

I heard his voice in a paraphrase circulating my brain, how I had come down from panic. He was really good at that, keeping others from panicking.

“We’ll take a short break, everyone, and maybe those who haven’t shared yet can. Though, of course, you’re by no means obligated, as always.”

I faced forward to find a woman’s eyes on me, the one who’d worn the beanie hat. She winked at me, acknowledging me before I rushed out of my chair and immediately went to get coffee at the group’s coffeemaker.

Of course, I wasn’t the only one with thoughts to head there, and the guy at the brewer stood ready as if waiting for me.

Apparently, he was. Ramses literally had two cups of coffee in his hands, one he gave to me the moment I got up there. At this point, he seemed to have his life together more than myself.

“Thank you,” I said, taking it but not drinking. Something told me it’d go down in nothing but a lump.

“No problem.” He eased out of the way for the crowd, both of us did. He tipped the cup in my direction. “So, Coping with Change.”

“Coping with Change,” I mumbled. “Your mom suggested it.” Kind of a lie, kind of the truth. She’d actually suggested bereavement for me. My jaw moved. “I have a lot of changes. You know, being new here. I also just got divorced, so…”

“Right.” He lifted his coffee again. I hadn’t told him I’d just gotten divorced, but he knew about it. He nodded. “So, I guess you’re not stalking me then?”

“Not.”

He appeared to be let down, feigning it before chuckling. “Mom suggested this to me. Texted me with the details about a week ago, but I’m finally getting off my ass to do it. Apparently, group therapy will help me with ‘my attitude.’”