I did go into the cold air and didn’t look back.
I suppose I was weak again.
Chapter Fifteen
Ramses
I knew December was behind me even before I turned.
I think that was why I’d done it.
I think that was why I’d put it all out there and said what I had to say. I needed to hear it.
And she had as well.
I turned to find her still in her towel, completely blind-sided by whatever had just happened. I’d been too good about keeping previous things away from her. They’d been my own crosses to bear, and I’d sat in silent torture with them. They’d been my burden, my plague, and something I had to come to terms with. They’d had nothing to do with her.
But that didn’t mean she shouldn’t know.
It’d taken fear to actually admit it. To see that things had really changed. I wanted them to change, and I needed them to. They were a roadblock to getting to where I needed to go, which, surprisingly, wasn’t in December’s direction.
I glanced toward the door, December’s near-silent steps padding toward me.
“We need to talk,” she said, and I sighed.
It’d been a long time coming.
We did talk after she came back, got some clothes on. God, the clusterfuck that had become my life had been my own doing. Still, it was goddamn shitty.
December and I did have that talk, in front of my fireplace, where she sat on my coffee table and I lounged on the couch. We had a few talks this way, casual.
But never so serious.
By the end, her hands had dropped between her legs, her swallow hard. I’d hit her with a lot of shit.
“First off,” she started. A veil of her hair had hung over her face, and she drew it back, tossed her head back. She frowned. “Your mentor is a complete piece of shit.”
Oh, yeah. So, I’d told her about that too, the Brown thing. It had all just kind of come out.
I figured if I was admitting shit, coming to terms with shit, she needed to know that too, and her reaction had been one that hadn’t surprised me. She’d been pissed, gone all female cavewoman. For some reason, she felt the need to protect my honor like I wasn’t a goddamn dude.
Even still, her reaction made me smirk, but her frown only deepened.
“Second.” She ticked off a finger, then moved close. “You know what happened over there, back at Brown. You know that wasn’t your fault, right?”
I did. Not many people were in my corner besides my mom. Our lawyers had just seen it as a PR mess, the Mallick playboy. They’d thought I was just trying to get my dick wet with some taken pussy since I fit the profile, and why should they see it as any different?
I dropped my fists between my knees. “I know.”
A nod on December’s end like we’d come to a consensus, and when her lips worked, I knew the ball was about to drop. That she was about to talk about the real shit. I’d talked to her about her and me, everything about her and me. I’d basically said it without actually saying it.
She was about to say it.
Sighing, she tucked a leg beneath her, the dance of the flames from my fireplace playing on her fair skin. Not so long ago, I would have drowned in her beauty. Hell, I’d have suffered in it. Now, I just fought everything I could to sit in front of her and not be someplace else.
With someone else.
My gaze dragged back to my cell phone beside me. She’d text me. When she made it to her car. She would. She hadn’t confirmed it, but she knew I was serious.