Beautiful Brute (Court University 3)

He grabbed my hands, and before I knew it, he was on top of me. He nibbled into my neck until I wriggled, making me promise to call or text him if I saw any dick.

He grinned. “I don’t need any fuckers throwing their cocks in front of you, Girl Scout.”

“Okay, okay,” I laughed, completely awkward anyway. Knowing me, if I did see a dick, I probably would run. My cheeks even warmed just thinking about it.

I mean, unless it was his.

That thought made my face warm too and my whole body when he stopped playing and just kissed me. Eventually, he just brushed our noses together, lacing our fingers before putting them above my head.

“You going to be all right?” he asked, the humor gone from his face. “You said some things last night, and we really didn’t talk about it, but I wanted to.”

We’d said honestly quite a few things. I wondered which one.

He studied me. “About your brother?”

Oh… that thing.

Yeah, that I didn’t want to talk about, looking away, but he took two fingers to my chin and wouldn’t let me.

“What happened wasn’t your fault,” he urged, so serious. “You were a kid, Girl Scout. And even if you weren’t, it was an accident. You’re not to blame, and I doubt any of your fam

ily feels that way either.”

I knew that, been told that. But that didn’t mean I felt any better. I still held that on my conscience and may forever. “It doesn’t stop the fact that he’s not coming back.”

“No, but you don’t need to carry it.”

But I did, though. It still hurt like yesterday. I mean, my family shattered. We’d lost so much with Nathan.

“You’re using too much of this,” he said, touching my temple. “And believe me, that can be dangerous.”

I think I saw that on his end. I know I saw it. I frowned. “I don’t want to carry it anymore. I just don’t know how.”

“Start with saying the words then.” He fell off of me, but didn’t let go of my hand. “Say it’s not your fault. That it was an accident, and maybe one day, you’ll believe it.”

Gratefully, he didn’t make me do that in front of him. I wasn’t sure if I could, at that point, anyway.

Instead, he let go, kissing my nose before picking up his phone. “I’ll see you later. Okay?”

“Okay.”

A smile before another wink, and he left the room. I thought his words would go with him, but I lay back, studying the ceiling.

It’s not my fault, I thought, sighing. I didn’t want it to be my fault, but how could I make the truth a lie? Then again, maybe it wasn’t about that.

I studied the door Jax had left through, wishing for faith. Strength. I’d seen change. I’d witnessed the cusp of healing personally. Jaxen was starting to heal.

So maybe I could too.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Jax

“And so he lives.”

In their suits already, my boys situated around what appeared to be a dormant men’s formal wear shop. There were literally no other people around aside from the shop attendants who cared for each of them. Knight, the one who’d spoken, currently had one of his gorilla-sized guns hanging off one of the racks, a doting shop attendant smoothing his collar and brushing lint off his sleeves. LJ wasn’t far off with his own swag team doing something similar. The cake was Royal. The dude stood in front of about five goddamn body mirrors with one grown-ass man primping and fashioning him while another held a tumbler of what appeared to be bourbon on a silver platter. My buddy was extra as fuck and apparently, rented out the whole goddamn place just for the four of us. Knight smirked. “So whose legs were you between?”

“Fuck off,” I gritted, letting the door snap shut behind me. Another doting attendant immediately came up and asked me my drink order. I told him beer before he bowed like a servant, and I guessed he was for the day. I clipped my aviators into my collar. “And whose legs I was between is none of your goddamn business.”