Pieces of Summer

I just nod, unable to form anymore words without the fear of crying. I don’t want to cry in front of him. It’ll only hurt him worse.

“This is just a small setback,” he says with that same forced smile. “You’ll be fine after a while.”

He removes his hand and clasps his fingers together in his lap while staring at me like I’m the most pitiful thing he’s ever seen. I hate that look. I hate what I’ve put him through. Again.

“Do you ever wonder where you’d be if I hadn’t been hurt that night?” I ask him quietly.

He snorts derisively while shaking his head.

“You’re all I have Mika. I’d be wherever you are, regardless of the circumstances. Just you and me.”

“And Hunter,” I remind him, smiling like my heart isn’t breaking.

He nods, laughing lightly. “And Hunter. You two are my only family. Hell, my only friends.”

And that’s my fault too. He won’t ever tell me, but it’s because of me he doesn’t have friends. He’s too focused on me.

“Can you send Hunter in?” I ask him, ignoring the next tear that rolls down my cheek. “And give us a moment?”

He nods. “Yeah. I have some more paperwork to fill out anyway.”

As he leaves, I make a decision I never thought I’d have to. I can’t be selfish anymore. And Aidan refuses to make a decision that isn’t unselfish.

I’m toxic. To him. To Hunter. To everyone.

Just because I’m broken, it doesn’t mean that I have to break everyone else in my path. I’ve been under the illusion that one day I’d be better. That one day they’d be free of my burden.

I wish I was unselfish enough to just end it… End me. But I can’t. I’ve fought too hard to survive to just end it now. That doesn’t mean I can’t do something else to free them though.

Hunter walks in, pausing his steps when he sees me on my back and restrained by the leather cuffs. It’s incredibly vulnerable and pathetic looking, I know. It takes him a second to recover from the sight as he moves to the chair beside me where Aidan was sitting.

“How are you feeling?” he asks me, trying not to stare at the cuffs.

My stomach is on fire, and I can’t take pain medication. But obviously I don’t tell him that.

“Like a rockstar after he or she destroys a hotel room,” I say jokingly. He laughs, but I’m fairly sure it’s a pity laugh.

“Hate to do this, but can I ask you for a favor and complete secrecy?” I ask him.

His humor fades immediately, and he leans forward.

“Always. What do you need?”

“My bank account number is somewhere in my safe at the house. Will you check my balance and see if I have enough to purchase a different house. And will you find me one no farther than fifteen minutes from a town?”

He nods. “Yeah. At least that’s a bright side—location changes don’t disrupt you.”

Thank God for that. It’s at least one bit of normalcy inside my chaotic life.

“Why not ask Aidan? He knows all your bank info.”

“Because Aidan can’t know.”

My lips tighten as his brow furrows in confusion, but slowly realization sinks in.

“Ah hell, girl. Don’t do that to him. He won’t—”

“He won’t live his life until I’m not in it,” I say through strain as a few more tears start to fall. “I think I’ve proven I’m toxic. I’m not healthy for him or for you. Or anyone for that matter. But this is my problem and my life. He shouldn’t be carrying the weight of my issues on his shoulders.”