"If you were worried you'd do something you'd never forgive yourself for because you couldn't control yourself, then yes—I'd do it if you asked me to."
His eyes soften as all the defensive hardness washes away. He looks so torn right now, struggling to find a better way. There isn't one.
"I... Alyssa, I can't. I can't lock you up and watch you struggle to get free. You're not like Sierra or Amy. You won't be in changed form. You'll be you—just—not you," he murmurs, confusing both of us. "What I mean is you'll still
be in your form, you just won't be in control. I'll hear you beg me to let you go, and I won't be able to deny you no matter what you're capable of."
Tension and weariness taints the sigh I release. I know I'm putting him in a terrible situation. I don't know what I'm like because I can't remember anything. It's all so—crazy.
"You told me I took your blood last night, Kane. I was a night stalker. That freaks me out, mostly because I can't remember a second of it. Who knows what else I can do? I sure as hell don't, and I don't want some poor, unsuspecting human to meet me when I'm like that. The only way to ensure that won't happen is to lock me up. Don't think of it as hurting me; think of it as saving me. You're good at that."
I smile to try and lighten the heavy situation, but he stays silent, brooding as he thinks it over. What I'm asking him to do isn't fair, and I don't know if I could really do it to him, but I can't tell him that.
With a frustrated, angered groan, he roughly places his cup back on the counter, letting the coffee splash over the rim and form a small puddle around the bottom.
"I don't like this," he mumbles, refusing to let his eyes meet mine as he sulks.
A sad smile graces my lips as I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his neck, enjoying the warmth he brings when he returns the embrace without the slightest bit of hesitation.
"Then you can do it under extreme protest," I joke, doing well not to fall apart.
This is all too much. I never prepared for this.
"Drackus is on the phone for you," Zee says as he walks in, grinning when he sees us holding onto to each other like a couple in love.
"Thanks," I say softly, feeling a little better now that Zee knows everything. I hated keeping so many secrets from him since he's Kane's best friend. I'm sure Kane needs someone to talk to—to vent to.
"Alyssa?" Drackus says just as my ear hits the phone.
"Hey. Is everything okay?" I ask, wincing when I think of why he's probably calling.
"Everything is fine with us. How are you?"
Let's see—I hit my ex with a shot of power strong enough to knock him out, exposed my magic to humans, revealed silver-eyed proof I'm the creature-demon they all fear, and then I went so far as to turn into a night stalker and drink my boyfriend's blood. None of which I can remember. Yeah, Dad, I'm peachy.
"I'm fine," I mumble, settling for the dishonest but easy answer.
He sighs out heavily, as if that's the first time he's exhaled in ten years. "Good. I'm calling to tell you that your mother and I are going to Scotland. We've got a lead on some of the people who took her. We need to learn about the imposter. More importantly, we need to learn about everyone we're up against. This is a well-thought-out plan being run by someone who has spent years orchestrating such an elaborate feat. We'll have to dig deep to find answers."
"Will the light and dark not flip out when they find out you've left your home?"
He laughs, sounding condescending with each new chuckle. "Dear girl, I've left this home more times than I can count. I have plenty of ways to keep my affairs discreet and quiet. Besides, I have friends in very high places. I'm more worried about you. We want you to join us."
I look to see Kane is staring at me intensely, waiting on my response. I have a feeling he'll go if I go. I'd want him to as well. It's too risky with me being this… thing. I won't put my parents in jeopardy. I can't believe I'm thinking of Drackus as a father right now. We still have fences to mend, but I don't want to see him dead.
"I'm staying," I mutter vaguely, not wanting to add my own issues to their already full plate of drama.
Kane walks over to me and pulls me closer just before Gage materializes in the room. Mom gets on the phone with me, and Kane withdraws so he and Gage can discuss cage making, proving the dark user was listening in to find out if I swayed my night stalker.
Mom tells me she loves me and to call her if I need her—at least twenty times—and I hang up before turning to face the boys. "They're going to miss Thad's memorial. They need to leave now. They're worried their informant will be spooked if they wait too long," I say softly, my emotions choking up my voice just barely.
I'm sure I'll bawl later, but right now, I have to keep it together so everyone doesn't lose focus on Thad's day by paying me attention that I don't want or deserve.
"We'll start working on the cage," Deke says, looking to me. "Sierra and Amy will have to know why you're being caged up. They'll ask questions."
My lips tighten into a thin line. I hate the smug smirk that will be on Amy's face when she learns about who or what I am.
"I need coffee before discussing cages, Amy, and another red moon. This is ridiculous. How many more are going to be here this cycle?"